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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24502999">I'm only human (I bleed when I fall down)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTheStarsWriting/pseuds/ToTheStarsWriting'>ToTheStarsWriting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hiding Under my Skin [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood is Good With Kids, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Magnus Bane, Canon-Typical Racism, Canon-Typical Violence, Discrimination, Discrimination Against Downworlders, Don't mess with my girls, F/F, Fem!Malec, Fighting, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Gay Pride, Homophobia, Idiots in Love, No Smut, Protective Alec, Protective Magnus Bane, Racism, They'll kick your ass, not yet, the angst needed to be listed twice, though they try to get close</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:07:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>42,166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24502999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTheStarsWriting/pseuds/ToTheStarsWriting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have to get worse before they can start to get better. Alec learns the truth of that as life throws a few more curveballs at her. Only this time, she's not sure she's going to be able to get back up again afterward. Will she make it? Or will this finally be too much for her to handle?</p><p>She'll do anything to keep those she loves safe.</p><p>Anything.</p><p>No matter what the cost.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hiding Under my Skin [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697266</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>209</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic is entirely dedicated to the lovely people on Discord who help encourage me all the time, and for Skylar who never fails to get excited whenever I mention my fem!Malec series. Thanks, you guys, for keeping me going :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Life had a funny way of changing on you when you least expect it. For Magnus, all of those changes seemed to be coming up on her lately, one right after the other. At least most of them were good, a fact she consoled herself with, though there were one or two she could do without.</p><p>If she stopped and thought about it, she could admit to herself that these changes weren’t actually sudden. All of this had started with a visit from Jocelyn Fairchild all those years ago. Though Magnus hadn’t realized it at the time, that’d really been the beginning of it all for her. The moment where everything began to change. By agreeing to help the Shadowhunter protect her daughter from the Shadow World, Magnus had set herself on this path. A path that had brought her <em>here.</em></p><p>There’d been many times through the years that Magnus had regretted her decision to help Jocelyn. For one, she wasn’t all that fond of Shadowhunters, and this woman had been married to the worst of them. While she’d clearly gotten out, and just as clearly later on opened herself up to the Downworld a little more, it didn’t mean that Jocelyn had left behind the prejudices that had gotten her into this mess. At one point she’d believed in Valentine’s ideals. Believed that Shadowhunters were <em>better</em>. That wasn’t something that went easily away.</p><p>Having Clary had changed Jocelyn even more. Taught her that there was more out there. But there were some things that hadn’t ever gone away. Each time she was so demanding with Magnus, each time she acted like the payment she gave was enough to convince Magnus to do anything, like she had no morals or anything beyond a greedy need for more money. Each time she insisted that she didn’t want her daughter exposed to the wrong kind of people – each one of those moments reminded Magnus of the woman she’d once been and the man she’d willingly tied herself to.</p><p>But Magnus had bit her tongue, something that she wasn’t well known for, and she’d helped her. Because she hadn’t been able to resist the sweet, sassy little girl that Clary was. And because she’d known that Jocelyn would go to someone else if Magnus wouldn’t help her. Someone who wasn’t as skilled with memory spells, who wouldn’t care as much about the potential damage they might cause just because Clary was a Shadowhunter child.</p><p>So Magnus had done it. She’d spent years taking away Clary’s memories when she encountered things she shouldn’t. She’d blocked her inner eye, shielding her from seeing what was natural to her eyes.</p><p>Magnus had regretted it time and time again. When Clary was tied to her chair by Jocelyn’s own hands, terrified of what was happening. When the young girl looked up at Magnus with so much fear, demanding to know what was going on, what they were doing to her. Magnus had <em>hated</em> it.</p><p>But now, as she sat on the balcony of her loft and smiled at the gorgeous young woman curled up in the chair opposite her, she couldn’t find it in herself to regret it for even a moment. Not when it had brought her here. Brought her <em>Alec</em>. The young Shadowhunter/warlock who had intrigued Magnus from the very first moment she’d seen her at the club and thought she was only a gorgeous mundane.</p><p>Alec had been dressed in her riding leathers, a look that was enough to have Magnus’ mouth watering. And the way she’d looked at <em>Magnus</em>? The physical attraction had been instant. It hadn’t gone away, either. Not even when Dot had brought the scared young woman to her home and Magnus had watched a glamour melt away to show stark black runes on all that pale, pale skin, while blue magic chased around her fingertips. If anything, it’d made Magnus want her <em>more</em>. She’d wanted to pin Alec down and chase each one of those runes with her tongue.</p><p>Talking to the woman over drinks had deepened that attraction while also sparking it with something more. <em>Interest</em>. The kind of interest that Magnus hadn’t felt since her last serious relationship. Since Camille.</p><p>Every passing moment with Alec only made Magnus fall harder. Having her at the safehouse, watching the way she was with the other warlocks there, how she hadn’t flinched at all the marks on open display around her. The way she’d responded to Catarina, laughing and teasing with her, and the clear sisterly love she’d displayed for Dorthea. Then, seeing her with Clary, coming back and watching her fight, <em>kill</em>, to keep the warlocks safe. Even when it was clear it tormented her to have done it. And that <em>kiss</em>.</p><p>Alec was a delightful dichotomy of shy and blunt. Nervous about her attractions and yet not shying away from it. She wasn’t denying that she wanted Magnus, though it was clear she wasn’t entirely sure what to do about it, and was even less sure about the fact that it was reciprocated.</p><p>In just the two short weeks that Alec had been staying as a guest in Magnus’ home, the older warlock had been able to see that someone somewhere along the line had definitely damaged this beautiful woman’s self-image. Alec thought so little of herself it was a wonder she was even allowing this thing between them to grow. But she wasn’t letting her disbelief prevent her from meeting Magnus flirt for flirt, or kiss for kiss.</p><p>Magnus let her eyes travel over Alec’s body while she watched the younger woman tip her head back and laugh. How on earth Alec could think she was anything other than stunning was an absolute mystery.</p><p>At the moment Alec was still in comfortable lounge clothes. For all her doubt toward her looks, she had a surprising lack of modesty that was a bit remarkable and wonderful all at the same time. Currently she was in a pair of cotton shorts that showed off those long legs that seemed to go on for miles. With a hint of definition to her thighs, and calves that Magnus wanted to <em>bite</em>, it was a beautiful view.</p><p>The rest was even better. With the spell that Magnus kept over the balcony to keep the temperature warm in the mornings – she hated being too cold – it meant that Alec didn’t need to bundle up in one of her countless baggy sweaters. Instead, she was in an oversized t-shirt that spilled off her shoulder a bit, and a sports bra, the two showing off the muscles of her arms <em>perfectly</em>. Magnus had spent many a night lately thinking about the strength of Alec’s arms and how easily she would no doubt be able to pick Magnus up with them, hold her in place, pin her legs down to the bed while she put that sinful mouth to work, eyes dark and smirking up at her…</p><p>Okay, nope, breakfast on the balcony was not the time for those thoughts.</p><p>Though Alec didn’t help <em>at all</em> when she lowered her gaze, hazel eyes bright with mirth. Magnus was so screwed it was almost funny. All because of a <em>Shadowhunter</em>.</p><p>“Are you all right, Magnus?” Alec asked, her lips still curved into a smile, warm and easy in a way that had taken her days to really get to.</p><p>Magnus brought out her own smile while she pushed the rest of her thoughts back to the little box in her mind. One she could pull out when she was alone in bed that night – just the same as she’d done every single night for the entirety of Alec’s two weeks here. Not a one of which had the younger woman taken her up on her offer. “Wonderful, darling. Just enjoying watching you laugh. It makes you radiant in this morning light.”</p><p>Just because Magnus wasn’t going to let herself think dirty thoughts didn’t mean she was going to pass up a chance to flirt with Alec. She may be trying restraint, but she wasn’t <em>dead</em>.</p><p>The way that Alec flushed at that was beautiful. Shy, yet bold, face tipped down a little even as she said “Look who’s talking. You look beautiful like this.”</p><p>Magnus beamed brightly at that. She loved Alec’s compliments and her blunt way of flirting. There was no falseness to her words. No artifice. One thing Magnus was learning was that when Alec said something, she meant it, be it for bad or good. It made her compliments mean more. “Thank you, Alexandra.” Magnus’ eyes crinkled up a little with her grin. “It must be something special if you can say that before I’ve even put my face on for the day.”</p><p>Just like Alec, Magnus was in her lounge clothes, though hers were a bit more decadent. Silk pants, a matching camisole, no bra, and a robe left open. Her hair hadn’t been brushed beyond her fingers running through it, and she had no makeup on.</p><p>Yet when Alec’s eyes ran over her, it was more than clear that she liked Magnus just like this. Maybe even more than she liked seeing her all dolled up in her High Warlock persona. “I told you, you look beautiful, Magnus.”</p><p>It didn’t escape Magnus’ notice when Alec’s gaze briefly lingered on her chest. She’d learned pretty quickly that Alec was a breasts girl. She definitely enjoyed the fact that Magnus often went without a bra. Though she also seemed to have a thing for hands, judging by the way she liked to watch Magnus’ move.</p><p>Their moment was interrupted rather rudely by the buzzing of the cellphone on the table. Alec bent forward, snatching her phone up and giving Magnus a quick peek down the top of her shirt. When she saw whatever was on it, her brow furrowed down and she bit at her bottom lip. Magnus kind of wanted to climb over there and bite it for her.</p><p>All at once Alec’s expression cleared. Her eyebrows went up, her eyes widened, and Magnus was already bracing herself for trouble even as Alec gave a low “Oh, shit!”</p><p>While things had been quiet lately at the Institute, that didn’t mean that they weren’t all living on alert, waiting for the next bit of trouble to happen. “What is it?” Magnus asked, a bit sharper, more alert than before.</p><p>Alec vanished her mug with a bit of magic and was scrambling to unfold her long legs from the chair and push up to her feet. “Fuck, I can’t believe I forgot. I’m gonna be late for work!”</p><p>That… was the very last thing Magnus had been expecting to hear. She looked after Alec’s quickly retreating form with a bit of bemusement. Work?</p><p>Shaking her head, Magnus rose as well, heading inside after Alec. She didn’t follow her to the bedroom though the temptation was strong when she saw the other girl hadn’t shut her door all the way. Instead, Magnus leaned against the wall and sipped on her mug. “Work?” she called out, pitching her voice just loud enough for Alec to hear.</p><p>“Yeah,” Alec answered loudly. There were a few thuds, a low curse, and then, “Luke went and talked to them after the fire, put in a few weeks grievance leave for me. But I’m supposed to start back up today and my class starts in ten minutes! That was my coworker asking me where I was and if I’m coming in today. I can’t believe I <em>forgot</em>.”</p><p>“I’d say it’s a bit justified. You’ve had a lot on your plate lately.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, if I want to <em>keep</em> putting things on my plate I need to get over there.”</p><p>The ridiculous pun had Magnus rolling her eyes. Eyes that almost immediately widened when Alec came back out of her room dressed like <em>sin</em> in a pair of tight black workout pants, a matching black sports bra, sneakers, and an unzipped sweater over it all. Her long hair was in a perfect braid like usual, hanging down her back, and she carried a duffle bag in her hand.</p><p>Even if Magnus hadn’t already planned to go with her, this reminder of what Alec said she did for work was enough to get Magnus to snap her fingers and change her own clothes.</p><p>She went for simple, because this wasn’t a party or such they were attending. Though she stuck to her own style. Tight blue jeans artfully torn here and there, with a hint of sequins on the pockets and legs, a grey tank top, a red shrug jacket to match the sequins, and red wedge heels.</p><p>Alec looked surprised at Magnus’ sudden change of clothes. Appreciative, but surprised. “Magnus?”</p><p>“I know that you don’t like the idea of bodyguards when you go out,” Magnus began, having heard Alec argue on the phone with Clary a few times, or witness it here when Clary visited the loft, when the younger girl tried to remind Alec not to go out anywhere by herself. Or to be careful. “But at times like this, there’s a certain safety in numbers.”</p><p>“I can handle myself,” Alec said, rolling her eyes.</p><p>“Of course you can. Does it help if I admit I’m mostly coming along so I can admire your ass in those pants?”</p><p>She laughed at the way that Alec blushed and shook her head. Yet Alec stopped protesting. She just made a ‘come on’ gesture at Magnus before turning to begin to create a portal in the open space of the entryway.</p><p>Magnus skipped forward and slid her hand into the crook of Alec’s elbow. It was a pose the both of them were discovering they quite enjoyed. Magnus could keep one hand there while they walked and use her other hand to gesture with. Or be free to defend them with. “I’m quite eager to watch you. I remember how well you fought before.”</p><p>With the portal open the two women strolled forward together. Alec put a hand over where Magnus was holding her, leading them into the portal and out the other side in what looked like every other alley in New York. “I’m not going to be fighting, Magnus,” Alec reminded her, banishing the portal. She adjusted her bag over her other should and then began leading Magnus out of the alley and onto the street. “I’m teaching kids, not fighting them.”</p><p>Magnus waved her free hand dismissively. “Either way, watching you move is a pleasure I’m going to thoroughly enjoy, and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking even one moment of denying me that pleasure.”</p><p>That got her a warm, easy laugh, and another of those bright smiles of Alec’s that always stole her breath away. “My deepest apologies.”</p><p>“Mm, I’m sure you can make it up to me later,” Magnus said, winking at her.</p><p>Their playful teasing carried them down the street toward a building that was kind of tucked in around the others. It wasn’t one that would’ve made Magnus stop and look on a normal day. In a way, it looked just like every other gym out there. Though she didn’t say that to Alec. Not when it was clear she loved this place and her job in it.</p><p>The people, too, judging by how she smiled when she walked inside.</p><p>They were greeted almost instantly by a tiny, peppy young woman sitting behind the front desk. She looked to be in her earlier twenties, and smaller than Clary, if Magnus was gauging her size right. She was a petite woman with a bright smile, big blue eyes, and a blond ponytail. Magnus could imagine she helped draw in quite a bit of male business.</p><p>“Alec!” The girl lit up at the sight of Alec, bouncing up on her toes. She looked like she wanted to rush around the desk and was just barely holding herself back. “It’s so good to see you! I’m glad you’re back!”</p><p>Alec’s lips quirked up in a little half-grin. “Hey, Allison. How’ve things been around here?”</p><p>“Good, good! We’ve got a few new bodies, but mostly we’ve just been staying even lately. I’m so glad to see you! We were all so worried about you. All your kiddos and their parents were worried too, but we understood. I’m glad you took the time off to be with your family!”</p><p>All those words came out in a rather quick jumble and audible exclamation points. Magnus blinked a little at the high energy and cheer of the young woman. She definitely hadn’t had enough coffee for this.</p><p>Allison abruptly seemed to notice Magnus, and her mouth dropped open just a little, and then shifted into an even bigger grin than before. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Look at me, blabbing away, and you’ve got someone here with you.”</p><p>There was a slight shake to Alec’s arm that had Magnus looking at her. When she did, it was clear the other woman was trying to smother her laughter. The smile she gave Allison was kind. It held not even the mock annoyance that Magnus had seen Alec pull when Clary or Simon jabbered for too long. <em>She really is too nice for her own good under all that scowling.</em></p><p>“It’s fine, Allison,” Alec said in that low, soothing tone of hers that she took sometimes. The one that sent shivers down Magnus’ spine and eased her tension all in one go. “This is Magnus, my…”</p><p>When Alec hesitated, Magnus grinned, entirely unashamed to take advantage of the moment and fill in “Girlfriend.”</p><p>A second after she said it, as she watched Allison’s eyes go wide, Magnus felt a flare of worry. With it came guilt. Had she just outed Alec here? The way Clary talked, and how Alec flirted, Magnus hadn’t guessed that she was closeted but she knew better than to make assumptions like that. Not everyone was out and open. Not everyone was <em>safe</em> to be out and open. Just because Magnus didn’t hide herself didn’t mean that other people lived the same. Be it for preference or safety or something else.</p><p>However, when she darted her eyes up to Alec, mind scrambling to try and think of a way to jokingly play this off, it was to find Alec looking down at her with wonder on her face. Like Magnus’ words had amazed her for some reason or another.</p><p>That wonder melted away to the brightest smile that Magnus had ever seen Alec wear. It chased away all the shadows that usually lurked in her eyes and left Magnus tongue-tied.</p><p>Allison let out a high pitched “<em>Oh my God!</em>” that broke through their moment. The girl had her hands up over her mouth and was staring at them like they were the second coming of Christ. “Your girlfriend? You have a <em>girlfriend</em>?”</p><p>“Is there a reason you’re shouting it to the whole building?” Alec asked dryly, though her smile was still on her lips. When it looked like Allison was going to squeal again, hands over her mouth, Alec chuckled and shook her head. “Much as I’d like to introduce her around, I have class starting in a few minutes and I need to get my stuff put away and get Magnus settled.”</p><p>“Oh, right, yeah, of course,” Allison said immediately. “Go to your class, they’re going to be so happy to see you. And it was nice meeting you, Magnus!”</p><p>Magnus grinned at the girl and wiggled her fingers. “A pleasure to meet you as well, my dear.” She waited until they were past the front office and into what was clearly staff area before she giggled. “She’s definitely… exuberant.”</p><p>That got a snort from Alec. “That’s one word for her.” There was fondness in her tone, though, that was easy for Magnus to hear.</p><p>Magnus let herself get led through the hall and into the staff locker room. She leaned against the locker beside Alec and watched her quickly unlock it and stuff her bag inside. While there was no one around, Magnus took a moment to reach out and brush her fingers over Alec’s arm again. “I owe you an apology for blurting that out back there, Alexandra. I didn’t stop to think about whether you were out or not, or anything like that, and while it’s clear it wasn’t a big deal with Allison, it could have been. I’m sorry for not thinking about it.”</p><p>The locker clanged as Alec tilted her bag to shove it in there. She shrugged as she did, seemingly unbothered by Magnus’ words. “It’s fine. I appreciate you thinking about it afterward, and the apology. But I’ve been out for a few years now. It’s part of why I come to this gym. They’re open to everyone, but they have a lot of LGBTQ customers here. It’s kind of a safe space to come where you don’t have to worry about being harassed in the locker room if you don’t fit society’s standard of what you should be.”</p><p>Magnus’ mouth formed a soft little ‘o’ at that. She blinked her eyes a few times while processing it, and then she felt her whole face melt into the kind of soft look she let so few see. “That’s wonderful.”</p><p>“Most of the kids in my class come from unconventional homes. It’s kind of why they come. They’ve got a safe space with me to have fun, and learn how to defend themselves against the people who like to bully anyone who’s different. Plus, their parents don’t have to worry when they bring them. They don’t get harassed here.”</p><p>The more Magnus heard, the more she wanted to reach out and grab Alec and kiss her just to show her appreciation. How was this woman even real? Kind souls like this weren’t common. Magnus would know – she’d met plenty of people. Very few of them had ever had the kind of kindness that Alec hid underneath her stern and adorably grump demeanor.</p><p>Alec shut her bag in the locker and abruptly turned toward Magnus. There was a hint of color high in her cheeks, and her eyes darted away for a moment, yet she showed that bravery of hers by bringing her eyes back up and looking right at Magnus as she blurted out “Did you mean it?” Her flush deepened a little more. “The, uh, I mean you don’t have to if you, like, were just trying to give us a cover story or whatever, but if you don’t…”</p><p>The quickest way to shut off an embarrassed Alec ramble was to lean in and kiss her. Magnus had employed that once already, and she was happy to see it worked just as well this time.</p><p>When they pulled apart, the color was still high in Alec’s cheeks, and her eyes were just a bit hazy. <em>Magic</em>, she would love to kiss her and kiss her until her eyes fully hazed over.</p><p>“Alexandra.” Magnus stroked her fingers over the bit of Alec’s hair where her hand had settled on the side of her neck. She smiled up at her. “We’ve been on a couple dates already, and shared many more if you want to count the meals at the loft. Which I don’t, by the way!” That reminded Magnus that they were well overdue another date. They hadn’t had a chance to go out since their fourth date. But, that was a thought for later. For now, she ran her thumb over Alec’s cheek. “I think we’re at the point where we can use titles. I mean, I’m not looking to see anyone else. Are you?”</p><p>This was probably one of the strangest places to have this sort of conversation. Someone could walk in at any time. They were surrounded by lockers and benches and there was a faint hint in the air of towels that needed washing. Alec’s students were likely waiting for her. It was a little odd, a little messy, and so very much <em>them</em>.</p><p>Alec’s eyes were shining when she shook her head. “No, I’m not.”</p><p>“Then I’d very much like to go around introducing you to people as my girlfriend.”</p><p>She got another one of those blinding smiles for that. Then Alec leaned in, her hands on Magnus’ hips to tug her close, and this kiss was anything but gentle or soft. Alec poured everything she had into it in a way that she hadn’t before. Magnus lost her breath to it, only to steal Alec’s so they could keep kissing, keep leaning into one another like this.</p><p>Unfortunately, they had to break apart eventually. Alec <em>was</em> here to work.</p><p>It was with a much lighter step that Magnus let Alec lead her out to the training room. Just as Magnus had suspected, children were already there waiting for them. There were ten of them, and if Magnus guessed their ages close enough, they had to be in the range of five to eight. Maybe a little more or less. She wasn’t the best at guessing those sorts of things.</p><p>There were chairs over with the parents who were sitting and watching, and that was where Magnus headed to while Alec went to the middle of the room and greeted the group of kids that almost immediately swarmed her. It was a lovely sight to sit and watch. One that Magnus’ hadn’t expected to make her heart flutter the way it did. She sat in her chair, one leg crossed over the other, and just let herself enjoy the sight of her <em>girlfriend</em> surrounded by kids who clearly adored her.</p><p>“Isn’t she amazing with them?” A voice to Magnus’ right asked.</p><p>She turned to look toward the parents that were sitting around her. The woman that had spoken was older, with bright green hair that was short and spiked. Cuddled up to her side was another woman with no hair whatsoever, and the brightest blue eyes Magnus had ever seen. The other parents seemed to range a little. One couple was male and female, one woman seemed to be there alone, but the other couples were either two women or two men.</p><p>Magnus smiled at the woman who’d spoken to her. Then she let her eyes drift back to Alec, who was calling her class to order. “Yes she is.”</p><p>“I’m Ellen,” the green-haired woman said, holding her hand out for Magnus to shake. “And this is my wife Tippa.”</p><p>Magnus shook both their hands, as well as the hands of everyone else who leaned forward to introduce them. She practically beamed at them when she got to introduce herself as “Magnus, Alec’s girlfriend.” Sweet Magic, what was she, some mundane teenager giggling over being able to say <em>girlfriend</em>?</p><p>“How’s Alec doing?” asked one of the men, who’d introduce himself as Cory. His husband Quentin was holding his hand. The both of them looked concerned.</p><p>Well, all of them did, really.</p><p>“We heard about what happened,” said one of the other women, Vivian. “It’s so sad. We were so glad to hear she took some time to herself before coming back.”</p><p>Wendy, a grandmotherly woman, let out a low chuckle. “Jimmy wouldn’t stop worrying about her. He made a card for the other kids to sign, and he baked her some brownies because, as he said, chocolate cures everything.”</p><p>Most of the parents laughed at that, and Magnus laughed with them, soft and easy. “I’m sure she’s going to love that. She’s… doing okay.” That wasn’t a lie, though it wasn’t the whole truth. There were some mornings that Alec came out looking like she’d barely slept. Other times she’d get a haunted look in her eyes that had Magnus wanting to wrap her up in her arms and keep the world at bay.</p><p>Quentin made a low, pained sound. “The poor girl. Losing someone is never easy.”</p><p>They must’ve told people that Jocelyn had been lost in the fire. It would explain how they kept anyone from noticing her disappearance. “She’s been staying with me so I can take care of her,” Magnus told them, slanting a look over at Alec.</p><p>“Good. It’s best to be with your loved ones in a time like this,” Vivian said firmly.</p><p>Magnus hummed a little, yet said nothing more, letting herself get caught up in watching Alec. She participated in the small talk; that was easy. If there was one thing Magnus knew how to do it was mingle and entertain. This wasn’t her usual atmosphere, of course, but that didn’t stop her from keeping the parents laughing while their children were busy.</p>
<hr/><p>By the time class was over, Magnus had a few new numbers in her phone and an insistence that they get together sometime for coffee by more than a few. She was still smiling over it as she watched everyone say their goodbyes to Alec, and when Alec finally made her way over to her. The fact that she was carrying a bit of Tupperware in her hand that was likely full of aforementioned brownies had Magnus chuckling.</p><p>“I see you got little Jimmy’s brownies,” Magnus said teasingly.</p><p>Alec grinned and pulled the container in closer. “Eyes off my brownies, Bane.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t <em>dream</em> of touching them. Not after that sweet boy went to all that hard work to make them for you.” Magnus tilted her head up a little when Alec came close. Those legs made her tower over Magnus like this. Smirking, Magnus gestured at Alec to bend low, pleased when she did. In a stage-whisper, she told her, “Word is that he’s got <em>quite</em> the crush on his teacher.”</p><p>The laugh that Alec gave had a little snort mixed in that only made Magnus’ own grin even bigger. “Wow. A nice boy who makes me brownies.” She looked down at the container and then back up at Magnus. “I dunno, Magnus. I mean, you gotta admit, that’s pretty awesome.”</p><p>“I know,” Magnus said, giving a sad shake of her head. “I don’t know how I’m going to compete with that.”</p><p>“I’m sure you’ve got something just as sweet for me.” Alec winked at her and tilted in that last little bit, stealing a quick kiss.</p><p>Not one that last long, though. Magnus broke it by huffing out a laugh. “Oh Lilith, Alec. That was <em>terrible</em>!”</p><p>Alec shamelessly shrugged at her, straightening back up as she did. She looked way too smug. “I don’t know. Got me a kiss, didn’t it?”</p><p>Laughing, Magnus took the hand Alec held out her way and used it to pull herself up to her feet. “Yes, though magic knows I shouldn’t reward such terrible pickup lines.”</p><p>“This from the woman who makes <em>meat puns</em>,” Alec fired back.</p><p>The fact that Alec wasn’t afraid to tease back with her like this was something Magnus enjoyed. The younger woman often gave as good as she got in conversation. She wasn’t afraid to snark back with Magnus the way that some people did, while at the same time her barbs held none of the poison that so many others had.</p><p>Sliding her hand around Alec’s arm, Magnus let Alec steer her back toward the lock room. “You know, we should take advantage of being out today and portal somewhere for lunch. There’s quite a few places I’d like to take you for our next date. I’ve been thinking about it lately and I have a few I’m sure you’ll love.”</p><p>“Mm, that might be good. Though, I, uh, I wasn’t thinking about leaving quite yet.”</p><p>Magnus looked up at her in surprise. “Oh? Do you have another class?”</p><p>“No, no. Not today. It’s just… been a while since I’ve been able to get a good workout in. I usually do one every day. I thought today might be a good time to get some in.”</p><p>“And I’m just supposed to sit and watch? Not that I don’t believe that would be plenty entertaining – it’s just not quite how I thought I’d spend my morning.”</p><p>One corner of Alec’s mouth twitched with what was clearly a poor attempt at fighting back a smile. “You could always come and spar with me if you wanted.”</p><p>There was a hint of a taunt in those words. Not in the sense that Magnus felt like Alec was doubting her skills or trying to imply she couldn’t do it. More like, she was <em>challenging</em> Magnus to do it. And Magnus had never, ever been one to resist a challenge.</p><p>The way that Alec’s smile slowly spread over her face made it clear she knew what kind of answer Magnus was going to give. Seeing it, Magnus shook her head, her own lips twitching. “You’re playing with fire here, darling.”</p><p>“Why don’t you go ahead and go change?” Alec suggested, far too smug for someone who hadn’t even started the fight yet, let alone won it. “I’m sure there’s something in my bag you can grab.”</p><p>The way Alec looked at her made it clear she didn’t actually mean for Magnus to take something from her bag. But her eyes darted up to a nearby surveillance camera and then back to Magnus, which was explanation enough. No magicking up a change of clothes on camera. Right.</p><p>Magnus smirked a little as she reached up to tap the tip of Alec’s nose. “Be right back.”</p><p>As she made her way to the locker room, she couldn’t help but think how this was such a tremendously <em>bad</em> idea. The two of them out on the mats, sweaty, trying to pin one another to the ground? Magnus shivered a little just thinking about it. This was going to be torture of the absolute <em>best</em> kind. There was going to be so much sexual tension by the time they were doing she was going to be lucky not to just take Alec to the floor and <em>devour</em> her.</p><p>After Alec had made it clear on their last date that she wasn’t ready to take that next step yet, the two of them had been enjoying flirting outrageously, and plenty of kisses that left Magnus panting and so turned on she often had to retreat to take care of herself. Not that she minded! She was willing to go at whatever pace Alec was comfortable with. Honestly, it felt good to slowly build the anticipation like this. To take the time to get to know one another, too. Magnus knew more about Alec now than she had just a couple weeks ago, and everything she learned only made her fall all the more for her.</p><p>This was going to be a bit of a test for the both of them, though.</p><p>Magnus summoned some workout clothes to the inside of Alec’s bag when she reached in there. Then she quickly changed, pulling on the loose, comfortable workout pants, a sports bra, and a tank top. Simple enough to move around in. If the pants happened to show off her legs nicely, and the arms of her tank top came down low enough to show plenty of her sides, well, it was Alec’s fault for asking her to do this.</p><p>The look it got her when she came back out to the gym was well worth it. Alec had shed the t-shirt she’d pulled over herself for the kids sake earlier. She was like some sort of glorious amazon warrior standing there waiting for Magnus, and yet she still looked at Magnus like <em>she</em> was the beautiful one.</p><p>“Are you ready?” Magnus asked, putting a bit of an extra sway to her hips when she walked forward.</p><p>Alec had to blink a few times before it looked like she got her brain back online. When she did, she gave her head a quick shake, and then her eyes narrowed. “Ready when you are.”</p><p>A little thrill of excitement was startling to curl in Magnus’ stomach. This might be the start of the most sexually frustrating morning she’d had in quite a while. However, it also had the promise of being <em>fun</em>, and anything that let her put her hands on Alec and potentially pin her to the ground wasn’t bad at all.</p><p>The two came to a stop in the middle of the mats, just a few feet apart. “What’re the rules?” Magnus asked, deliberately running her eyes down Alec’s legs and then slowly back up.</p><p>Alec snorted. It didn’t escape Magnus’ notice that her cheeks were just a bit pink, though. “First pin?”</p><p>“Mm. And the prize?”</p><p>Neither of them even thought of doing this without some sort of prize. Magnus already knew that Alec was just as competitive as she was. More so, in some ways, which made for lots of <em>fun</em>.</p><p>Alec clearly thought about it for a moment. Then she shrugged one shoulder. “Winner picks our next date?”</p><p>“The next <em>three</em>,” Magnus countered.</p><p>She watched as Alec’s eyebrows went up. Then they settled back down and her smile stretched wide enough to crinkle her eyes. “You’re <em>on</em>, Bane.”</p><p>When Magnus had been watching Alec earlier most of the other woman’s moves had been simple. Easy. Something that her kids would be able to pick up on and replicate. They’d carried a fluid sort of grace to them that the children had worked hard to try and mimic. Now? Now, as Alec lowered herself down into a defensive crouch, slowly starting to move sideways, Magnus could see that grace even clearer.</p><p>They circled one another for a few moments. Each one waiting for the other to move first.</p><p>It was no surprise that Alec was the one to do it. She struck out with a blow Magnus easily deflected, ducking down and moving swiftly to the side. Alec definitely had more muscle mass for this fight but Magnus knew she had <em>speed</em>.</p><p>“You’re gonna have to do better than that, gorgeous,” Magnus teased her.</p><p>Alec’s eyes were alight with that competitive spark. She kept moving, kept circling, and then in a blur of speed she was right there with a blow that Magnus just barely managed to avoid. Magnus darted back, blocking a few blows that Alec followed her to give, waiting for the opening she needed. As soon as she saw it Magnus was moving forward, going down under Alec’s guard and catching her by her bicep. With a quick duck and twist, she got her shoulder under Alec’s arm and <em>yanked</em>, sending the younger girl over her shoulder and down to the ground.</p><p>Magnus didn’t have long to enjoy it. As soon as Alec hit she was twisting her body and giving a solid yank that brought Magnus down with her.</p><p>The two rolled along the mats, neither willing to let go of the other. Magnus almost had her pinned, only for Alec to twist in a way that Magnus didn’t recognize, switching their positions and catching Magnus’ arm, rolling the woman over her back and down onto the mat with a blow that almost knocked the wind out of Magnus.</p><p>Alec didn’t follow through with the finish she could have. She hesitated just enough that Magnus was able to pull away and launch an attack of her own.</p><p>She didn’t know if it was just Alec’s continued distraction or if maybe she just wasn’t prepared for it when Magnus caught hold of her arm and twisted them, using one knee to pin Alec’s neck down while she drew her arm up behind her back, the angle high enough that Alec was either going to have to stay where she was or risk dislocating her shoulder.</p><p>To her surprise, Alec immediately reached her free hand out and tapped the mat.</p><p>Magnus let go of her arm instantly. When she went to rise, Alec struck, knocking Magnus straight onto her back in a move that ended with Alec straddling her waist, hands flat on the ground on either side of Magnus’ head. Some of Alec’s hair had come loose from her braid and was hanging around her face in frizzy little curls. Her chest was heaving a little, and there was a hint of sweat on her skin.</p><p>“You’re good at this,” Alec said, smiling just a little.</p><p>Arching one eyebrow, Magnus smirked up at her. “And you threw that match.”</p><p>The little shit didn’t even try and deny it. She let her smile grow a little wider and actually <em>shrugged</em>. “I don’t know – looks like I won to me.”</p><p>Oh, the little <em>brat</em>. Magnus pressed her tongue against the back of her teeth to keep back the shit-eating grin that wanted to spread over her face. “Hate planning dates that much, do you?”</p><p>“Not like I exactly have experience at it.”</p><p>Magnus felt her eyes go wide at that little admission. She knew she’d gone still, and the look on her face must’ve been something because Alec went still as well. “You… none?” Magnus asked slowly, not quite able to believe it. “Have you… have you never been on a date?”</p><p>“I mean, I’ve grabbed coffee with a girl or two, but,” Alec cut herself off, shrugging again, only this time it was nowhere near as cocky as the last one. If anything, she suddenly looked way less sure of herself. Slowly, she lifted herself up so that she wasn’t bent over Magnus anymore but sitting high on her hips.</p><p>The position would’ve been one that Magnus would’ve enjoyed at any other time. Definitely. Right now? Her mind was too caught up on everything else to focus on that.</p><p>There was no way Alec could be saying what she thought she was saying. <em>No way</em>. Magnus refused to believe that <em>anyone</em> could resist this sweet, gorgeous girl.</p><p>She could feel it when Alec’s body tensed like she was going to rise, her expression shuttering as her feelings were slowly being drawn behind a mask that Magnus had taken joy in trying to get behind these past weeks. Quickly, before Alec could go anywhere, Magnus surged up off the ground.</p><p>The force of her push was enough for her to catch Alec with her arms and roll them, switching their positions.</p><p>Now it was Magnus who was shifting so that she straddled Alec’s waist, her hands down by Alec’s head. She didn’t sit up; she made sure to get right down in her face, wanting to have her absolute full attention. Judging by the wide-eyed look Alec was giving her, she had it.</p><p>“You are the single most stunning woman I have ever seen,” Magnus said bluntly. No games, no tricks, no hidden meaning to her words. She gave Alec the same brutal honesty that the woman so often gave to her. It was the only way she could guarantee that Alec might <em>hear</em> her. “Whatever girls you grew up around were either blind or stupid.”</p><p>Alec’s hands had ended up on Magnus’ hips sometime during their shuffle. She held on to the top of her pants and fiddled a little with the waistband. At the same time, her eyes darted down a little, looking more at Magnus’ shoulder than her face. “I’ve been told my size makes me a bit… intimidating.”</p><p><em>Oh, these stupid mundanes.</em> Magnus kind of wanted to go and curse every idiot in Alec’s life who’d made her feel that way. Except the small part of her that was savagely grateful they were all so blind – it meant Alec was here now, with <em>her</em>, and there was no way in Heaven, Hell, or Earth that Magnus was going to give her up.</p><p>That didn’t mean she couldn’t hate them for the clear lack of self esteem they’d left behind in Alec.</p><p>Bending down low, Magnus stopped with her lips just inches away from Alec’s. “You, Alexandra, are absolutely <em>exquisite</em>. If others couldn’t see that, they’re blind or dumb, or both.”</p><p>“Magnus,” Alec breathed out her name like it was a prayer to her precious angels. The same kind of reverence and awe contained within just the letters of Magnus’ name.</p><p>It sent a shiver down Magnus’ spine. She licked her lips, tasting Alec’s breath mingling with hers. What else was she supposed to do with them like this except bend down and seal her lips over Alec’s in a kiss full of everything this beautiful woman made her feel. They were far too early in things for any big words, though Magnus was beginning to suspect that those weren’t that far away. Not if the warmth in her heart was anything to go by.</p><p>They broke apart for a second, just long enough to get their breath back, and then Magnus was sliding her hands from the floor to either side of Alec’s head, resting her weight on her forearms and diving back in.</p><p>“<em>Magnus</em>.” The soft shudder of Magnus’ name was moaned out, the sound swallowed down by Magnus. She felt the hands on her hips grip tight, keeping her pinned right in place, and Magnus moaned as well at the sensation of it. Alec took advantage of that moment to draw her head back. “We… we’re still in the gym… Someone could come.”</p><p>Magnus grinned at her choice of words. “Let’s hope.”</p><p>There was a split second where Alec clearly didn’t understand what she meant. When she did, her eyes went wide and then rolled up. “Oh my God,” Alec breathed out. “I shouldn’t find you this hot while you make bad jokes. Why are you still so hot?”</p><p>She didn’t give Magnus a chance to answer. Just lifted a hand from Magnus’ hips and caught the back of her neck, yanking her back into another kiss.</p><p>This kiss was harder than the last one. Sharper. It was full of sharp nips and teasing tongues. It took so much control for Magnus to keep her body still; to not start rocking down against the firm body resting between her legs. She’d dreamt about this so many times lately. Thought of it alone in her bed at night with one hand between her legs to relieve the aching <em>need</em> that Alec put there just by simply <em>existing</em>.</p><p>There was no telling how far either one of them might’ve gone if it weren’t for the sound of footsteps and then a low “oh, shit” from somewhere nearby.</p><p>The words themselves wouldn’t have been enough to make Magnus pull away. She’d never shied away from an audience a day in her life. Not even for something like this. Hell, she’d done a whole lot worse in Pandemonium with countless other Downworlders watching her. If someone wanted to come in and stare while Magnus did something as chaste as a kiss, well, let them.</p><p>Alec, on the other hand, was clearly not as open. She broke their kiss with a soft little gasp that Magnus immediately wanted to chase and swallow down. Instead of clutching Magnus close, she started to push at her until Magnus reluctantly drew back.</p><p>When Magnus dropped her weight onto her hip, off to the side of Alec, it gave her a perfect view to watch the way that Alec scrambled up to her feet. It also let her watch that cute little ass in those tight workout pants, though Magnus had to fight back the urge to just lean forward and <em>bite</em>.</p><p>The person who’d come in and disturbed them seemed just a little frozen. They looked at Alec, who was clearly trying to figure out what to say while just as clearly being embarrassed, and then down to Magnus, who had no shame. Magnus glared up at him and gave a little huff, blowing her hair away from where it’d fallen in her face. One look at her face had the guy giving an actual <em>squeak</em>. Then he was blurting out “Sorry!” and darting for the door.</p><p>No sooner had the door shut than Alec let out a low, emphatic “<em>Fuck.</em>”</p><p>If it hadn’t been for how easily Alec had accepted the use of the term girlfriend at the front desk, and the way she’d held Magnus so close, this reaction might’ve had Magnus worrying about Alec actually being <em>out</em>. She had a feeling this was a little different, though. “Calm down, Cinderella,” she said teasingly, pushing up to her feet. “We were just kissing.”</p><p>“On the floor at my <em>work</em>,” Alec moaned out. She had one hand over her face that did nothing to hide the adorable redness underneath.</p><p>Magnus fought back the urge to coo at her. She didn’t think Alec would take it that well. Instead, she moved over to her and caught her hand, dragging it away from her face with only a little resistance. As soon as her lips were free, Magnus pushed up to take a quick kiss. “It’s fine,” she reassured Alec, stroking her fingers over Alec’s wrist as she did. “Whoever that was saw us kissing, nothing more. At worst, they got a little fodder to jerk off to later.”</p><p>“<em>By the Angel</em>.”</p><p>Her scandalized tone had Magnus laughing. “It’s fine, Alexandra.”</p><p>Though she was still red, and still clearly a bit flustered, Alec was recovering quickly. She shot Magnus a glare that was barely even real. The way her lips were curving up made it clear she was starting to become more and more amused. “I blame this on you.”</p><p>“That’s fine,” Magnus agreed easily. Proudly, even. She would fully accept the blame for pinning Alec to the ground and kissing her. Though she’d dare anyone in her shoes to be able to resist.</p><p>Alec laughed, and the last of her tension seemed to break. “You’re shameless.”</p><p>“And you’re adorable.” Grinning, Magnus took a second to look Alec’s face over, trying to gauge her mood. What she found had her wanting to sigh. Their moment on the floor was lost, and though she was sure she could regain it if she really wanted to push, the mood was gone. Magnus took just a second to mentally lament that loss. Then she pushed it aside, and focused up on Alec. Her smile gentled as she watched her. “What do you say we go back home, get showered and changed, and then you let me take you out this afternoon. There’s this lovely little place down in Cappadocia that I think you’d like…”</p><p>It was easy to sweep Alec up with words and gestures, drawing her in and then heading toward the locker rooms. She was always drawn in with an avid attention that so few honestly paid Magnus after extended periods of time. She was used to commanding the room as High Warlock. Or reigning over parties that put her at the center of attention. But none of it beat this feeling right here of standing arm in arm with a beautiful woman who looked at her like she hung the stars in the sky, and never failed to hang off her every word.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Be prepared for some feelings in this chapter. Just a heads up ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After their morning, the rest of their day didn’t go anything like Alec had expected it to.</p><p>She wasn’t ashamed to admit that there was a part of her that had hoped after their interruption at the gym that they might find their way back to the loft and pick things back up. At least a little. Alec still wasn’t sure what she felt about going to bed with Magnus, but she knew herself well enough to know that part of that was just fear. Fear of not being good enough, not knowing what she was doing. Fear that her glamour might slip and show parts of herself she wasn’t quite ready to show yet.</p><p>It was something they needed to talk about. Alec knew that. It was just, that was far easier thought than done. How did she go about talking to Magnus about this? Especially since Magnus hadn’t once shied away from showing off her warlock mark.</p><p>All the warlocks Alec had met at Magnus’ place had been so <em>open</em> about their marks. Amongst their own kind they seemed to have lost the fear that usually had them keeping up a glamour. She envied them that ease.</p><p>She also envied them the beauty of their marks.</p><p>What would Magnus think once she saw Alec’s mark? Would she still want to be with her? To <em>touch</em> her? <em>Alec</em> could barely handle touching her mark when it was visible. Would Magnus? Or would she turn away?</p><p>That fear had kept Alec from letting things grow despite how close the two of them had gotten. However, she wasn’t going to be able to avoid it forever.</p><p>Magnus didn’t know what it was that was holding Alec back; she just knew that there was <em>something</em>. She respected it, too, not ever pushing Alec further than she was comfortable with. Even after things had gotten so hot and heated at the gym, Magnus hadn’t tried to push them into going back to the loft, or made it seem at all like she was expecting to pick things back up somewhere private.</p><p>She took Alec to the little place that she’d mentioned and the two of them had an amazing lunch. Then they’d portaled to Paris for a little shopping and just, walking together, enjoying the night in ways that Alec hadn’t expected yet desperately loved. There was something beautiful to be said for strolling down strange streets holding hands with her girlfriend.</p><p>By the time they went back to the loft, they were both grinning, hands full of shopping bags and a drink that Magnus called <em>bubble tea</em>.</p><p>It was full dark back in New York. Late by most mundane standards, edging close to the wee hours of the morning.</p><p>They tumbled through the portal into Magnus’ living room laughing as they went. Alec was holding her drink in one hand and her other was tangled together with Magnus’ in a way that they’d maintained through most of their day. Walking around holding her hand was a pleasure that Alec was more than happy to enjoy as long as Magnus let her.</p><p>Luckily for her, Magnus didn’t seem all that inclined to let go of <em>her</em>, either.</p><p>“You are utterly ridiculous!” Magnus exclaimed, tugging Alec over toward the couch where they dropped their few bags on the ground. “You spent half of your life in the mundane world. How do you have so little understanding of so many mundane things?”</p><p>Alec rolled her eyes fondly. “Just because I don’t know all the artists you’re talking about doesn’t mean I don’t know mundane things. I know the <em>good</em> things worth actually paying attention to.”</p><p>Their whole playful argument had started just because Alec hadn’t recognized someone playing on a stereo in the store they’d gotten their drinks in. For some reason, Magnus seemed personally offended by that, and Alec might’ve been playing it up a little just to watch Magnus’ face.</p><p>Alec’s words had Magnus letting out a loud gasp. She threw herself dramatically down onto the couch, letting go of Alec as she did and almost spilling her drink, and flung one hand across her heart as she went. “Alexandra, you’re breaking my heart here. What kind of lesbian are you if you can’t appreciate Beyoncé in all her glory?”</p><p>“The kind who spent way too many years thoroughly worshipping an entirely different queen, thank you very much.” Alec’s tone was prim, yet her eyes were twinkling. She sat down carefully in a deliberate contrast to Magnus’ dramatic.</p><p>The move got her a quick flash of a grin. One that was quickly cut off when Magnus sat up right in her face and demanded “Who exactly did you idolize above the gloriousness that is <em>my</em> Queen?”</p><p>Their tastes in music were so clearly different from one another. Alec knew they likely wouldn’t see eye to eye on this, yet that didn’t stop her from promptly saying “Pat Benatar.” She watched as Magnus’ eyebrows shot up in surprise. Smirking, Alec sat back in her seat, her knee nudging forward a bit to bump against Magnus’ as she did. “I grew up with Luke and Dot influencing my musical tastes, and Clary’s. We listened to a lot of Pat Benatar, Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Queen, Three Dog Night, Meat Loaf. A little bit of Neil Diamond, though I don’t really recommend playing him anywhere near Clary. She hates him more than any other artist, though I don’t know why.”</p><p>“I didn’t at all expect this, and yet now that I know I feel very much like I should’ve at least guessed,” Magnus said. Her surprise was melting away to a bright grin that was kind of soft at the edges. A look that Alec didn’t have a name for and was honestly still getting used to having directed her way. “You’re starting to fill out a stereotype here, my little leather Cinderella.”</p><p>“Am I ever going to live down that nickname?”</p><p>Magnus’ grin only brightened. “Nope!”</p><p>Any further teasing was cut off by the sharp sound of someone banging against the front door.</p><p>Alec’s head snapped up in surprise when she heard it. Normally she felt people passing through Magnus’ wards; her own magic was usually on alert for trouble, monitoring things around her. But she’d missed this one.</p><p>Judging by the look she snuck over at Magnus, the other woman had missed it, too. A fact which made Alec feel better. She watched the little furrow between Magnus’ brows, and then the way it smoothed away when she clearly recognized who was knocking.</p><p>A wave of Magnus’ hand opened the door without either of them having to get up. They turned from their spots on the couch to watch as Isabelle came rushing into the room.</p><p>One look at her and Alec’s stomach dropped down to her toes. She went completely still as if her body was locking down in preparation of what was to come. “What happened?”</p><p>Isabelle didn’t even bother to try acting like it wasn’t something serious. She looked right at Alec and everything about her was screaming out her apology. Her grief. <em>Oh, Raziel, this is going to be bad. This is going to be so bad. </em>Ignoring the hand that Magnus laid on her leg, Alec waited, frozen, for the bomb to drop.</p><p>“Raphael came to the Institute about twenty minutes ago,” Isabelle said. Her face hardened, though her eyes went soft. She took a deep breath and then finally dropped the bomb that tore Alec’s world to shreds. “Alec – Camille attacked Simon. He’s… Raphael brought us his body. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>If Alec had thought she was frozen before it was nothing compared to how still she went now.</p><p>She should be feeling something, she knew. Some anger, grief, <em>anything</em>. But every inch of her was encased in ice. She vaguely noticed when Magnus took the cup from her hands, and when she reached back out a second later to curl her own hands over Alec’s. The touch normally would’ve been grounding. Not this time. Now, Alec barely felt it.</p><p>Simon was dead.</p><p><em>Simon was dead</em>.</p><p>“Where is he?”</p><p>Alec barely recognized her own voice. It felt like the words came past lips gone numb.</p><p>The sorrow in Isabelle’s eyes grew. “The old crypt we used to go play in. It was the most discreet place we could take him without alerting anyone. There’s a woman that showed up today, a Clave envoy. We didn’t want her finding him.”</p><p>Alec pushed her way up to her feet. Her magic was already gathering – it was raging inside her like a snowstorm, jagged bits of ice threatening to tear apart the world if she let them. Somehow, she kept it locked down inside so that it tore at her instead. A thousand little cuts from which she bled without making a sound.</p><p>It was just a matter of thought to gather the necessary bits of magic to make the portal. With the destination Alec had in mind, it took a little more effort, a push of something white mixing in with her blue. She felt Magnus rise as well, heard the warning “Alexandra…” echoed by Isabelle’s low, “Alec?”</p><p>None of it mattered. The portal pushed past the wards and finally snapped into place. Alec said nothing as she strode toward it, not paying attention to the hand that caught hold of hers except to thread their fingers together. That was the only crack Alec allowed herself in her demeanor. The rest of her stayed frozen as she went through the portal.</p><p>It spit them out down in the very crypt that Isabelle had mentioned. There were already people there – Jace, Clary, a vampire that Alec didn’t know, and… Simon. <em>Simon</em>.</p><p>His body was lying so very still on a large stone slab that was once meant to hold coffins on display. To show off the bodies of fallen Shadowhunters as their families gathered to give the rites and send them on their way. Seeing him there now broke a small bit of the ice that was sitting around Alec’s heart.</p><p>Clary was standing right next to him, holding his hand in both of hers and crying silently. She didn’t look up at Alec’s arrival. Didn’t care about anything beyond staring at his face. Alec banished the portal as she moved toward Clary’s side on legs that didn’t feel quite right.</p><p>Somewhere behind her, she heard a voice demanding “How the hell did they portal in here?” It sounded like Jace.</p><p>Isabelle’s voice was soft as she gave a simple, “I don’t know.”</p><p>All of Alec’s attention went to Simon. She stared down at him and felt her heart break even more. Sweet, gentle Simon with his bright, laughing eyes and his stupid jokes and that insane mind for pointless trivia. Simon, who sang with a voice like the angels, and who watched Clary like she was the sun and stars in his sky. Simon, who had once drunkenly confessed that he thought Alec was hot as hell, but also terrifying, and that he loved her like he loved his sister.</p><p>“Camille did this?” Alec asked. She could hear how flat her voice was and didn’t care to try and stop it.</p><p>She could see as Clary nodded her head. “We weren’t… I should’ve been there. But we just, we got so caught up at the police station.” One of her hands lifted from holding his to gently reach up and stroke back some of his hair. “We got the Cup back. I was so busy focusing on that, I didn’t answer his call.” Her voice cracked a little. “It’s my fault he’s dead.”</p><p>The grief in Alec swelled even stronger. She grabbed hold of it, shoved it down, forced it away. When her eyes lifted they immediately found the vampire standing off to the side. “Can we save him?”</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Clary demanded. Her head snapped up and she was looking at Alec, following his gaze over to the vampire.</p><p>There was the sound of footsteps and then Jace was there, one hand on Clary’s shoulder, tugging her back a little. “Clary, no.”</p><p>But Alec only had eyes for the vampire. She lifted her eyebrows in a silent ‘<em>well?’ </em>that he didn’t ignore. He hesitated for only a second, and then nodded at her. “Yes. If he’s strong enough.”</p><p>Simon was strong. He was so much stronger than anyone gave him credit for. That wasn’t in question here. What was in question was if Alec could do this to him. Make this choice. If she did, she’d be condemning Simon to a lifetime of living in the dark, drinking human blood, one of the people the Clave and mundanes alike all considered a <em>monster</em>.</p><p>“Hey,” Clary reached up, grabbing hold of Alec’s arm and yanking on it, forcing her to turn until they were face to face. In contrast to Alec’s ice, Clary was all fire, burning so hot and bright it hurt to look at her. “What are you talking about? What do you mean, save him?”</p><p>“Your friend was fed from, and fed from a vampire in return,” the vampire answered her, beating Alec to it. “If we bury him, there’s a chance he could rise again.”</p><p>Clary blinked her eyes a few times while she processed that. “As a vampire? You want me to turn him into a <em>vampire</em>?”</p><p>“You’d rather he stay dead?” Alec asked flatly.</p><p>The way Clary jerked back from that would make Alec feel bad. Later.</p><p>Jace tugged on Clary’s shoulder again, clearly trying to pull her away from Alec and Simon both. He shot Alec a warning look before turning Clary to face him, his hands on her shoulders. “Clary, think about this. This isn’t something you can just jump right into. Yes, you can turn Simon, but he’s not gonna come back as the sexed up, romantic kind of vamp. He’ll be the ugly, bloodsucking, coffin-dwelling kind.”</p><p>“That’s offensive,” the vampire pointed out in a dry voice. “Coffin implies wooden box. We have caskets now. They’re made of 14-karat gold.”</p><p>Jace sneered at him and waved his words off like they didn’t matter. He kept his hold on Clary, kept her looking at him. “You really need to think about this. Do you want to give him that kind of life?”</p><p>“Isn’t it better than no life at all?” Alec asked. She didn’t care that Jace’s words weren’t for her. The fact that he was speaking to Clary like this was somehow all her decision, like Alec didn’t have just as much say here, was breaking through the ice just enough for Alec’s temper to start showing. Cold and angry were far easier for her to cope with right at that moment than anything else.</p><p>Isabelle took a step toward them, and Magnus shifted as well, reminding Alec that she was still beside her. Still holding her hand.</p><p>“Alec,” Isabelle called her name gently. Everything about her was as nonthreatening as possible. “I know you’re hurting, but you need to think, too. You should know better than anyone what it means to get thrown into the Downworld all of a sudden. Do you want to do that to him?”</p><p>A low growl came from Magnus. “Tread carefully, Isabelle,” she warned the woman.</p><p>Alec ignored that. She let out a laugh that was like shattered glass to her own ears. “As opposed to, what? Staking him in the heart so he can have a peaceful death? Or leaving him buried, trapped starving under the earth for eternity, too weak to climb his way back out?” Her lip curled up in a sneer. “Better a Downworlder than dead. <em>That</em> was the choice I made all those years ago, and you’re damn right I’ll make the same one for him.”</p><p>She turned back to face Simon at that, putting her back to the rest of them.</p><p>Clary broke away from Jace to come up to Alec’s side. “I’m so sorry, Alec.”</p><p>“He never should’ve been anywhere near all of this,” Alec said, just as soft. “You guys were never supposed to be touched by the Shadow World. I just wanted you two <em>safe</em>.”</p><p>“I get the feeling our lives were always meant to be a part of this. Maybe this… maybe this is what’s right for him, too. Maybe this is how he gets to stay with us while still being safe.”</p><p>“Safe?” Another of those aching, bitter laughs tumbled past Alec’s lips. There was no mirth to the sound at all. “You clearly haven’t been paying attention to what it means to be a Shadowhunter if you think he’ll be <em>safe</em> like this. He’s just gonna have new enemies. You have no idea what kind of life he’s gonna have now.”</p><p>“I know it won’t be easy,” Clary began slowly.</p><p>Alec didn’t let her get any further. Her temper snapped a little at the innocence Clary was showing here. She’d been a part of the Shadowhunters for a few weeks now – hadn’t she learned anything? “Don’t be so naïve,” Alec snapped at her. She turned her head to glare, startling Clary enough that the other girl took a step back. “You have a brain in your head – try using it. <em>Not easy</em> is a vast understatement.”</p><p>Never once had Clary really backed down from Alec’s anger for long. Just like always, she met her temper for temper, straightening herself up a little taller. “Quit talking to me like I’m a child!”</p><p>“Then quit acting like it! You’ve been with the Shadowhunters for weeks now. You should know what kind of life Downworlders live.”</p><p>“A minute ago you were all for turning him. Are you changing your mind?”</p><p>Jerking herself away from Magnus, Alec moved closer to Clary, turning away from Simon as she did. “No. I just want you to damn well understand what decision we’re making here before it happens. I need you to use your brain and stop acting like you’re stupid.”</p><p>“I not stupid! Just because I don’t know everything like you doesn’t mean I don’t know <em>anything</em>,” Clary growled out. “Are you forgetting I’m new to this too? Maybe if my family hadn’t spent my whole life lying to me, we might’ve been better prepared for all this, and Simon might actually still be alive.”</p><p>At those words Alec jerked back like Clary had struck her. She barely registered Isabelle’s sharp “Clary!” or the way that Jace moved between them. Though she did feel the warm, gentle hands that caught her elbows, the body that came up to press against the back of her in a support she so desperately needed in that moment.</p><p>In a flash, shock was replaced with anger. The ice that was wrapped around Alec before cracked and broke, all the torn pieces of her falling to the ground. “Maybe if you two hadn’t decided that your new friends were more important, I could’ve still been there to help keep you safe,” Alec shot back.</p><p>Unlike Clary’s heated tone, Alec’s was cold and sharp, cutting them just as deeply as it cut her.</p><p>“Don’t throw your guilt back on me, <em>Clarissa Fairchild</em>. I did my damndest to protect you in every way possible while we were growing up. I shielded you against bullies, I taught you how to defend yourself. I protected you from demons, even a rogue vampire, once. But you found out something new about yourself, that you were <em>special</em>, and suddenly you’re – what? Better than us?”</p><p>“That’s not fair!” Clary snapped. There were tears in her eyes; a sigh which normally would’ve moved Alec, at least a little. But Alec also knew that Clary was an angry crier. They happened whether she wanted them to or not.</p><p>Besides, Alec was far too broken, her own wounds bleeding, to pay attention to the wounds of someone else at the moment.</p><p>“Isn’t it?” she asked, lip curling up. “You call me each night to tell me all your grand adventures while also trying to order me to stay at Magnus’. Do you realize how <em>patronizing</em> that is? To have you, a little girl with barely any knowledge about the Shadow World, trying to tell <em>me</em> how to survive in it?”</p><p>“I’m trying to keep you safe!” Clary exclaimed.</p><p>Alec yanked away from Magnus’ grip with a harsh tug and a snarl. She moved right up to Clary, leaning in toward her in a way that had Isabelle tensing and Jace stepping forward like he was going to get between them. Alec flung a hand up and used a flare of power to keep them away. Clary didn’t even flinch at the sight. She straightened up and met Alec glare for glare.</p><p>In contrast to the display of power, Alec’s voice was lower and colder than ever. “I don’t need <em>you</em> to keep me safe, <em>Shadowhunter</em>.”</p><p>She spun away before Clary could say or do anything else.</p><p>There was no way Alec could leave, not with Simon lying still on the stone there. But she put as much distance between her and Clary as possible. When the girl tried to follow after her, Isabelle moved, freed from Alec’s shield. She caught Clary’s arm at the same time that Magnus shifted to stand between them. “Clary,” Isabelle said softly. “Leave her alone right now.”</p><p>“Listen to your friend, Clarissa,” Magnus warned.</p><p>Alec stood off in the far corner of the room, just barely tucked around a bit of stone to hide out of sight. She didn’t want anyone seeing her in that moment. Not when her hands were shaking and what little control Alec had was threatening to melt and crack. In any other situation Alec would’ve portaled out of there to somewhere private. As it was there was no way she was going to leave while Simon was lying there.</p><p>She heard the click of heels making their way toward her. Judging by the heavier sound, they were Magnus’. She had a preference for heeled boots or wedges over the stilettos that Isabelle favored.</p><p>Alec stayed where she was, back against the and eyes closed, and let Magnus come to her.</p><p>A brief pause told her when Magnus found her. For a second Alec thought the she was going to walk away. Or just stand there. Then her warmth was suddenly right there, and a familiar hand was cupping Alec’s cheek. Alec held completely still as Magnus leaned in close and pressed their foreheads together. Her other hand settled on Alec’s hip, one finger hooking into the top of her pants so that skin was brushing against skin.</p><p>At the same time, her magic reached out to brush against Alec’s in a touch that was equally comforting – and twice as disarming.</p><p>Alec could feel that ice melting away more and more under the warmth Magnus brought with her. She shuddered, not sure if she was ready to let that go yet. “Magnus.”</p><p>The word came out a soft, aching whisper, breathed out so softly it was a wonder Magnus heard her.      </p><p>“I know,” Magnus murmured back. Her fingertips pushed into Alec’s hair until her hand was gently cradling Alec’s neck and the back of her head. She used that hold to draw them in a little closer, stealing a gentle kiss. “I’m right here, darling. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you.”</p><p>Alec pressed her forehead a little harder against Magnus’ just to feel that grounding pressure. “I told you, my life is messy. You don’t… you shouldn’t have to do this for someone you’ve known like, weeks.”</p><p>“And I told you, I don’t mind a little mess. I’m not going anywhere, Alexandra.”</p><p>She wanted to believe her. Really, she did. But Alec had lost way too many people in her life. Some of them she’d been the one to walk away from, and others she knew she was responsible for not letting them close. It was just – standing here with one of her best friends dead on a stone slab, another one slowly turning into someone that Alec didn’t recognize, in this building that had once housed all of Alec’s dreams and was now nothing more than a labyrinth of nightmares, it was hard. It was so, so hard.</p><p>Magnus made a soft sound in her throat. Something that Alec thought might’ve been a <em>coo</em>. “Oh, my sweet girl. I’ll tell you that as many times as you need to hear it. <em>I’m not going anywhere</em>.”</p><p>“You can’t be sure of that,” Alec whispered back.</p><p>“You’d have to show me far worse than this to chase me away. Besides, you think you’re the only one with family and friend drama?” Magnus let out a soft, breathy laugh. “The boy standing discreetly out of the way over there is like a son to me. He’s also the second-in-command to the vampire Clan run by my ex-girlfriend.”</p><p>Alec blinked a few times in surprise at that. Camille Belcourt was Magnus’ ex-girlfriend?</p><p>Seeing that surprise, Magnus nodded. “Oh yeah. And I haven’t even had the chance to introduce you to my sweet little cabbage yet. Ragnor is far saltier than even you, my dear, and takes great pleasure in finding any excuse to mock me for something. Put him together with Raphael over there and they’ll be more than happy to berate me for hours while telling you every terrible life choice I’ve ever made. In detail.”</p><p>The sound of footsteps and then a door slamming had Alec twisting quickly to look, to make sure that no one had come. Only, she was surprised to find that it wasn’t someone coming – Clary and Isabelle were gone.</p><p>Alec swallowed down the emotion and stepped back out, her eyes going to Jace who still stood near Simon’s head. She didn’t have to ask him what happened. He answered her, voice a bit cooler than any other time he’d talked to her. “Clary needed a minute, and Izzy went with her to make sure she’s okay.”</p><p>“Good.” Isabelle would take care of Clary. That meant that Alec was free to step forward and do what she knew had to be done.</p><p>Jace watched as she came up to Simon, his gaze suspicious. He didn’t say anything until Alec suddenly bent and began to slid her arms underneath Simon. “Woah, hey, what are you doing?” he demanded.</p><p>With a little help from Magnus, and Raphael as well, Alec straightened up with Simon in her arms. “I’m making the decision so Clary doesn’t have to. Tell her I’ll let her know when it’s done.”</p><p>This time it was Magnus who created the portal for them. She didn’t say a word, just moving her hands in the familiar gestures to call it up. Then she put her hand in the small of Alec’s back.</p><p>Alec held Simon tight against her and walked through the portal with her head held high.</p><hr/><p>They took him to a graveyard where Magnus insisted no one would bother them. Once there, she made another portal for Raphael since the sun was getting ready to come up. “This will take you back to the hotel,” Magnus told him.</p><p>He nodded at her, but his eyes were on Alec. “I’ll be back after sunset with supplies.”</p><p>Alec wanted to say thank you, but the words were dried up somewhere in her throat. She had to settle for simply nodding at him. It must’ve been enough, because he nodded back and then he was through the portal and the swirling blue light was gone.</p><p>That left just the two of them standing there in a graveyard that’s slowly filling with light.</p><p>With gentle hands Alec carefully set Simon down on the ground. The bit of graveyard that Magnus had taken them to wasn’t extremely full. There were plenty of places for a new plot. Plenty of places for her to dig. She looked up at Magnus, who had already raised her hands and was sending magic over them. She didn’t have to say anything for Alec to understand what she was doing. She’d put up a shield.</p><p>Alec nodded her satisfaction at that. No one was going to disturb them now. That meant she was free to turn back around and summon herself a shovel. Her jacket was stripped off and tossed down on the ground. Alec braced her feet, steadied her hands on the shovel, and began to dig.</p><p>The steady, monotonous movements helped her focus a little. It helped her keep a lid on the emotions that were threatening to swarm up and choke her. More than anything in the world Alec wanted to have a chance to just, let go for a moment. To be like Clary, who felt everything loud and proud without a damn for what anyone else had to say. She had the soul of an artist, Jocelyn had always said. Her emotions were just so big there was no way she couldn’t express them.</p><p>Alec was different. Her emotions weren’t <em>less</em>; she just didn’t have the freedom to express them the way that Clary did. Even if she’d wanted to, or felt comfortable doing it, it wasn’t possible. Someone had to keep a level head. It was up to Alec to stay calm and take care of things.</p><p>Over and over she reminded herself of that as she dug. Maybe she couldn’t grieve the way that Clary was – but she could offer this. She could do this for Simon. He deserved <em>something</em> from her and this was all she could grant him.</p><p>Unfortunately, she seemed to be the only one to believe that.</p><p>“I realize this is a rather common trope in books and movies, but it’s not exactly one that pans out well for anyone in real life,” Magnus pointed out, interrupting Alec’s thoughts. “Especially when you have magic to help the process along. At this point, you’re simply punishing yourself, not offering respect or whatever it is you think you’re doing.”</p><p>She grit her teeth and pushed the shovel down into another bit of dirt. It was tempting to ignore Magnus, only she knew that wouldn’t work. The best Alec was able to manage was a sharp, “So?”</p><p>For a moment Magnus was quiet. When she spoke again, her voice was a bit softer than before. “Alexandra.”</p><p>“Don’t,” Alec spat out. Another shovel of dirt, harder this time. She needed to do this. She needed to find the ice she’d wrapped herself in before and piece it back together around her. Freeze out everything but what needed to be done.</p><p>A soft rustle of cloth warned Alec. Then suddenly Magnus was right there in front of her, blocking Alec’s shovel. She didn’t stop there, either. With one steady hand Magnus pushed the shovel out of the way until there was enough room for her to move right into Alec’s space. Her hands were oh-so-gentle when they came up to cup Alec’s cheeks. “Sweetheart. My beautiful, sweet, stubborn girl.”</p><p>Alec’s hands tightened on the handle of the shovel. It was squished between them now, useless, yet she couldn’t let it go. “Magnus…”</p><p>“Shh.” Magnus drew her down until they were just a breath apart. When she kissed Alec, it was as soft as her voice. A sweet, gentle thing that threatened to tear apart Alec’s control piece by piece. “That’s enough, sweet girl. You don’t need to keep punishing yourself for this. It wasn’t your fault.”</p><p>Of course it was her fault. All of this was her fault. She was supposed to <em>protect them</em>. “I should’ve been watching out for them. That’s my job. I’m supposed to protect them.”</p><p>“You can’t be everywhere all the time.”</p><p>“I should’ve been with him!” Alec snapped. “Who else was gonna watch out for him, huh? <em>Clary</em>?” A bitter laugh slipped past Alec’s lips. “She’s way too caught up in her new life to realize what she was dragging him into. That’s just how she gets, and I knew that. I knew it and I still just left him.”</p><p>“This isn’t on you, Alexandra. It isn’t.”</p><p>Yes, it was. Only, when Alec opened her mouth to say just that, she was stunned by the jagged sob that tore its way free.</p><p>Everything about Magnus melted. She let go of Alec’s face only to cup the back of her head instead, her other hand pulling the shovel out from between them, and then Alec was being wrapped up tight in strong arms, cradled against someone who didn’t expect her to be strong. Someone who held her and told her “That’s it, Alec. Let it out. I have you.”</p><p>Once the grief was started there was no way Alec could shut it off. She found her hands fisting in Magnus’ jacket while the tears just poured out of her. All the ice was melting. She was sobbing it away in tiny little pieces that felt like they were going to break her apart.</p><p>Burying her face against Magnus’ shoulder, Alec cried.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the day passed by in a blur for Alec. Looking back, she couldn’t really give voice to what it was she’d done. She knew they’d gotten the grave taken care of, and that they’d buried Simon. She also vaguely remembered kneeling down beside the freshly shoveled dirt afterward for some time. But the rest? None of it was really clear. Not until night was on them and Raphael had returned.</p><p>Because of Magnus’ shield protecting them and keeping them hidden there was no way for Raphael to just come to them. Magnus had to open up the portal, go get Raphael, and bring him there. Then, at Alec’s quiet request, Magnus made a portal for herself to go back to the loft.</p><p>“He doesn’t know you that well,” Alec pointed out, a bit worried about offending her partner while at the same time very sure of what she was saying. “He wouldn’t want strangers there. Not when he’s going to be so out of it like this.”</p><p>Thankfully, Magnus didn’t seem offended by the request. “If it’s what you want, darling.” Then she’d kissed Alec, squeezed her hand, and left her there with Raphael to watch and wait.</p><p>They could both feel it as Simon woke, and as he started to crawl his way up out of the earth. Alec stood ready with her magic on hand while Raphael picked up the blood bags and held them at the ready.</p><p>Watching Simon’s rebirth was a moment Alec didn’t ever want to have to go through again. She was grateful that it was just her and Raphael there. No one else needed to be there to witness Simon’s absolute panic as he realized what he was – what he’d become. When he pushed up from the dirt, a part of Alec’s heart broke. The rest of it shattered as she watched him feed, watched Raphael explain what he was, and as she had to watch him fall apart because of it.</p><p>That was the point that Alec couldn’t stay back anymore. She cast a quick spell over herself that Magnus had given her before she left, masking her scent a little so that it wouldn’t be as powerful, and then she was darting forward to drop down to her knees by one of her closest and dearest friends.</p><p>“Simon.” In contrast to the aching in her heart, the sound of Alec’s voice was sharp as Isabelle’s whip. “Simon Lewis, look at me <em>right now</em>.”</p><p>The harshness of her tone clearly surprised Raphael. Yet it did what Alec wanted and worked to snap Simon’s attention away from his panic and up to her.</p><p>Once she was sure he was looking at her, she softened just a little, though she made sure her voice remained firm. As did the hands that she reached out and curled over his shoulders. “Take a deep breath for me, Si. You know the drill. One big, deep breath – pull it in all the way down to your stomach.”</p><p>Though Simon didn’t technically need to breathe anymore this was something that was familiar to the both of them. Simon’s anxiety wasn’t always a problem – he let out the excess energy it gave him into always going, doing, being involved in something. His music, his movies, his comic with Clary. Simon always had an outlet to fall back on. But sometimes that didn’t help. Sometimes it built up in him and he couldn’t breathe. After Alec had caught him in an anxiety attack in a bathroom, she’d made him promise to call her if he felt one coming on, and she’d helped him through plenty more over the years.</p><p>They fell into the routine of it now as Alec helped Simon to slowly but surely get himself back under control.</p><p>When the anxiety and panic began to fade, a hint of rationality crept into his eyes. Alec saw it and nodded. “There. Better?”</p><p>“Better,” he agreed. Then a laugh slipped out that was a hint too hysterical for her taste. “Yeah, yeah, so much better. I mean, I was dead, and now I’m a <em>vampire</em>, but, y’know, it’s just great.”</p><p>Alec let go of his shoulder with one hand to smack against the back of his head. When he let out a yelp and tried to give her a dirty look, she glared right back at him. “Don’t even try that look with me. You know I don’t fall for that.”</p><p>“Still worth a shot,” Simon grumbled. He brought a hand up to rub at the back of his head like she’d actually hit him hard enough to even sting, let alone actually hurt. “You’re such an abusive friend.”</p><p>“Only when you insist on being an idiot. I don’t need your sarcasm. Your life sucks, I get it. Well, guess what?” Alec gripped at both his shoulders again and leaned in until their faces were just inches apart. “You were dead earlier. So yeah, I’d say it’s <em>just great</em>, seeing as how I prefer your annoying ass actually be alive for me to beat on.”</p><p>“You always know how to say the sweetest things,” Simon quipped. He’d gentled a little, though, and Alec knew he was relaxing even more with their banter. It was what was familiar to him. Easy.</p><p>When Alec relaxed back on her haunches a little, Simon took that as his cue to look around, and his eyes landed on Raphael again. He squirmed a little in clear embarrassment at having an audience here for this. Something which Alec couldn’t blame him for. She shifted herself so that she was only holding onto one of his shoulders, the rest of her body angled a bit toward Raphael.</p><p>However, Simon surprised her. He didn’t say anything about Raphael being there. What came out of his mouth instead was something she should’ve known he’d ask. “Where’s Clary? Did she, um, I mean… was she not…?”</p><p>“Calm down, squirt,” Alec said, giving his shoulder a fond little shake. She grinned at the dirty look he shot her for that old nickname. “Clary would’ve been here if she’d had any idea we were doing this.” The smile tried to wipe off of Alec’s face, yet somehow she managed to keep it in place. “We were discussing what to do about this and whether you’d want to be turned or not, and she wasn’t sure. So, I stole you and made the choice for all of us.”</p><p>Simon’s eyebrows shot up. “<em>You</em> decided this?”</p><p>“Yep. So if you’re gonna be mad at someone for this…” She trailed off and held both her hands out, opening herself up.</p><p>Simon had every right to be mad, she knew. Alec was well aware of what it felt like to have the status of Downworlder thrust on you. How terrifying it was, knowing that you were something people hated. In the world of Shadowhunters, the stigma of becoming a Downworlder was probably just as strong – if not stronger – than the stigma of becoming a vampire was for mundanes. This wasn’t going to be easy for him to accept. He was the monster people wrote stories about.</p><p>She watched Simon’s expressive face and read the heartache, the understanding, the anger – all of it.</p><p>For a brief moment Alec allowed herself to soften just a little more. Letting a hint of herself show through in front of someone she might not know but that Magnus trusted far more than most. “Simon, I get it. I do. You take all the time you need to adjust to this. And I understand completely if you find yourself furious with me. I’ll be there every day if you want me to, or I’ll stay away until you’re ready to talk. Whatever you need, all right?”</p><p>He shook a little under her hand. Alec consoled herself with the fact that he didn’t pull away, though. After a moment he even lifted a hand and brought it up to cover the one she had on his shoulder. “I’m not… I don’t hate you,” he blurted out. Red-rimmed eyes lifted to her. “I couldn’t ever hate you. But I… I need time, I think. Just, um, just don’t go anywhere? I don’t know if I can do this without you.”</p><p>Alec smiled past the pain in her chest. “Whenever, wherever, Si. All you gotta do is call.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>It hurt, to rise up and essentially pass of one of her closest friends to someone she didn’t know. No matter how much Magnus had insisted Raphael would help. Alec hated the idea of giving Simon’s care over to anyone. Especially since the last time she hadn’t been around, he’d <em>died</em>.</p><p>The way Raphael was looking at her made it clear he understood that. “I’ll take good care of him.”</p><p>“I know you will,” Alec said flatly. “Because if you don’t, I’ll find the tallest rooftop and leave you tied up for the sun.”</p><p>Her threat had Simon protesting a little, sputtering out something beside them, but neither Alec nor Raphael paid him any attention. The vampire just nodded at her. He didn’t seem bothered by her threat. If anything, the look he gave her was one of respect. Alec nodded back, and then twisted her hands to open up a portal for them.</p><p>Once they were gone, Alec stood where she was for a moment, staring down at the grave that had housed her friend. It was something she never wanted to see again, and yet, she knelt there and carefully patted the dirt back into place from where Simon had dug himself out. Only when the last bit of dirt was in place did she finally stand back up.</p><p>A wave of her hand cleaned up the mess of blood bags left on the ground. Alec used magic to make sure there wasn’t a single trace of them left. Then she tugged down the warding that Magnus had put up for them.</p><p>By the time Alec left there was nothing to show that they’d ever been there at all save for the freshly turned dirt of a new grave no one would ever realize was empty.</p><hr/><p>Portaling back to the loft was easy. Once she was inside the wards, a part of Alec relaxed. She hadn’t realized just how comfortable she was starting to grow here until she’d spent a while out and returned. The feeling of peace that settled over her at being somewhere she knew was safe had her slumping just a little.</p><p>The loft was quiet as Alec made her way toward her room. She could feel the presence of Magnus’ magic that said she was back in her bedroom. Most likely already asleep herself. Alec tried to ignore the pang that gave her. Instead of focusing on it, she headed straight to the bathroom for a shower.</p><p>It felt good to wash away all traces of dirt from her body. The clothes she’d been wearing were tossed over into the trash can. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to wear them again without thinking of today. Of this. Closing her eyes, Alec leaned her forehead against the shower wall and let the water beat down on her for a moment. She’d thought she’d cried herself out earlier against Magnus’ shoulder. However, there were tears burning at her eyes now. Here in the privacy of her shower she was free to let a few slip down her cheeks, washed away in the water like they’d never even been there.</p><p>She’d almost lost her friend today. In a sense, she still had, and it would remain to be seen if he ended up wanting her back in his life. Even though he’d been calm, that might not last. Simon might find himself furious later when the reality of the life Alec had consigned him to became real. He was one of the Night Children now. Governed by the very woman who had turned him, if the other vampires didn’t step up and take care of it. He was going to have to drink blood just to survive. Would he hate her for that when it all began to sink in?</p><p>Alec squeezed her eyes shut to try and battle back the tears that wanted to keep coming. Without thinking, she balled up her fist and slammed her hand into the shower wall, not even caring that she cracked through the tile. <em>Angel-dammit! This wasn’t supposed to happen! I was supposed to keep him safe!</em></p><p>With a low growl Alec reached down and wrenched the water off. Her hands were shaking when she opened the glass door and grabbed for a towel. Though she’d felt exhausted before she’d gotten in, now there was a nervous energy running through her body. One that she couldn’t quite get rid of. It was the kind of feeling that, in the past, had led to her patrolling the streets in search of a demon to take her frustrations out on.</p><p>Only now, she couldn’t do that either. Not unless she wanted to risk running into the Circle members that were hunting for her.</p><p>She could go to Luke. He needed to know what was going on, and he always had a level head. He’d be able to talk Alec down and tell her if she’d made the right choice. At the moment the idea of his steady voice and one of those big hugs he liked to give out sounded <em>wonderful</em>.</p><p>But, no, she couldn’t go there. It was way too late – or early, depending on perspective – and she couldn’t wake him up. Nor did she really want to risk Clary being there, or him telling her how wrong she was for doing this.</p><p>Alec dried herself off with quick moves and then stalked back out to her bedroom. There, she quickly threw on underwear, pajama shorts, and a t-shirt that had actually been Luke’s once before she’d stole it from him. It was one of his shirts from the police academy – a place Alec had once contemplated going to. Following in Luke’s footsteps and joining the police force had seemed like a good way to use her skills.</p><p>She only took a moment to look at her phone when she went to plug it in. The amount of missed calls and texts had her quickly locking it again. Those would still be there in the morning. She’d deal with them then.</p><p>Rightfully, Alec knew she should get in bed. It’d been a long day and night, and her body needed rest. Especially if she wanted to be ready to face whatever came her way tomorrow. No doubt Clary would show up at the loft, upset with her for running off with Simon, and demanding answers. If Alec wanted any chance of dealing with that without fighting even more, she needed sleep, and she needed to calm down.</p><p>One look at her bed and Alec knew she wasn’t going to get any sleep there. All she’d do is toss and turn. There was no Dot to talk to, either, as she tried to find sleep. No Luke. No Clary.</p><p>However…</p><p>Even as the thought hit her, Alec was moving. She barely even gave herself time to realize she’d made a decision. One minute she was staring at the bed and the next she was out of the room, down the hall, and outside Magnus’ door.</p><p>She barely got her hand up to knock when Magnus called out “It’s open.”</p><p>Alec didn’t give herself time to start to question this. The offer had been made once in the past, and Alec knew Magnus didn’t offer things she didn’t mean. Not like this.</p><p>The door opened almost silently. Alec bit her lip as she took a step in. She’d expected to find Magnus lying down with the lights off. What she hadn’t expected to find was the woman up, blankets pulled up to her waist and her back propped up by a host of pillows against the headboard. She had her hair brushed back, makeup gone, and a book in her hands.</p><p>Magnus was already smiling when she lifted her head. The smile didn’t falter at all when she saw Alec, though something about that look made her soften a little. She didn’t comment on whatever she saw there. Nor did she ridicule Alec for coming down here or anything like that. Instead, she let out a snort and rolled her eyes. “Did you even brush your hair after you washed it?” She didn’t give Alec any time to answer. She just waved her hand and made a brush appear there, which she then used to gesture Alec forward, sitting up as she did. “Get over here. You leave it like that and it’s going to be a tangled mess by the morning.”</p><p>By now Alec should really be used to Magnus surprising her. That response wasn’t at all what she was expecting, but it was so very Magnus that it had some of her tension fading away.</p><p>Alec shut the door and made her way over to the bed. She hesitated at the edge, not quite sure, only for Magnus to pat her hand against the blanket in front of her. “Get in here. I won’t bite – not unless you ask nicely.”</p><p>A laugh that came out more like a huff slid past Alec’s lips. She was smiling, though, when she climbed up onto the bed and sat where she was told.</p><p>No sooner had she sat down than Magnus was snapping her fingers again. Alec didn’t even have to ask why. She found out quickly enough when Magnus wrapped a towel around the bottom of Alec’s hair and began to squeeze some of the water out of it. “You Lightwoods really have unfairly gorgeous hair,” she said as she worked. “Or, well, I guess it’s the Trueblood side. Your mother had a long braid back in the day, too. But it suits you. Though I don’t know how it is you deal with all the weight of it – especially when it’s wet.”</p><p>For the moment Alec just glossed over the mention of her family, or her mother – she wasn’t going to think about the fact that Maryse was at the Institute, no way – and focused instead on the rest. “I’ve cut it one or two times. It just happens to grow really, really fast. But, yeah, it gets a bit heavy.”</p><p>“That’s part of the reason I like my hair so short.” Magnus put the towel down – it felt like she was tucking it over her legs and a little under Alec’s hair – and then she took hold of Alec’s hair and began working out the knots at the bottom. “My hair grows in naturally thick. For quite a long time I had to keep it that way, too, thanks to a society that believed women’s worth was held in the curve of their waist, the length of their skirts, and the length of their hair.”</p><p>Picturing what Magnus must’ve looked like back then had Alec’s lips twitching a little. “I have a hard time picturing you like that.”</p><p>Magnus scoffed at her and playfully tapped the back of Alec’s hair with the brush. “I’ll have you know I looked <em>magnificent</em> in dresses, thank you very much, even if I wasn’t fond of them. Though I do have to admit, those bigger dress styles did come in handy now and again.” Magnus paused to work out a tangle, and likely to raise dramatic tension – she loved to do that in stories. Then Alec swore she could <em>hear</em> her grin. “You wouldn’t believe how many men believed I was under there just to help fix a woman’s wiring or something in her petticoats.”</p><p>The meaning behind Magnus’ words took just a second to sink in. When it did, Alec felt her face flare up while a laugh came tumbling free. “Magnus!”</p><p>“You know, that’s exactly how Ragnor used to say my name.” She gave a low <em>hmm</em>. “I’m not sure I want to introduce you two. He always used to say my name in that scandalized way back then. While he wasn’t a believer in society’s idea of a woman’s place in life, there’s only so much you can easily accept when you grow up exposed to it all. Though he learned.”</p><p>“I bet you terrorized him.”</p><p>“You’d better believe it, gorgeous. And then Catarina came along, and he suddenly found his hands full with two women who had no desire to conform to anything society wanted of us unless <em>we</em> wanted to.”</p><p>Now <em>that</em> was a lot easier to picture. Drawing her knees up, Alec folded her arms to rest on them and let herself slump down a little. Each run of the brush through her hair seemed to be pulling some of her tension out with it. This wasn’t what she’d expected when she came in here, but it was somehow just what she needed. “Yeah?”</p><p>That single-word question was enough for Magnus. She launched into a story about some sort of expedition the trio had gone on together. It sounded fascinating, and Alec found herself smiling and laughing at all the right places, letting the soothing tones of Magnus’ voice and the gentle strokes of the brush ease the aching places inside her.</p><p>By the time Magnus was done brushing her hair, Alec was mostly asleep. It got her a soft, fond laugh. “Just a minute more, sweet girl. If you fall asleep like this we’ll only be repeating the whole process come morning.”</p><p>“Mm.”</p><p>Magnus laughed again. The brush vanished, and then quick, dexterous fingers were in Alec’s hair, not just braiding it but pulling it into a quick French braid that she tied off with some sort of cloth conjured from somewhere. Alec didn’t pay much attention. Not until Magnus was tugging her backward toward the top of the bed and telling her “Get those long legs out of the way for just a moment, that’s it.”</p><p>Alec let herself be lay down in the soft silks of Magnus’ bed. A moment later, the woman herself joined her, and the blankets were drawn up over them while the lights were shut off. Magnus lifted one of her hands, maybe to touch Alec’s face, maybe to move the blankets. Alec didn’t know and she didn’t really care. She was tired enough that she took the open arm as an invitation and immediately scooted forward, tucking herself in right up against Magnus’ chest in a way that had the other woman laughing again.</p><p>“Oh, good, I’d hoped you’d be a snuggler,” Magnus said cheerfully. She adjusted one arm so that it was under Alec’s pillow, under her head, and the other drew Alec in as close as they could get. She even nudged her leg under Alec’s so that their bodies were even closer.</p><p>They were twined up in one another and it felt <em>perfect</em>. Exactly what Alec needed after a day like this. Her magic, which had been skittering all along her inside, was finally settling down.</p><p>There in the dark the world felt surprisingly safe and soft. Maybe that was what encouraged Alec to speak the words that were sitting in her heart. Words she hadn’t known were there until she said them. “He’s going to hate me for this.”</p><p>Magnus smoothed her hand up Alec’s back, ending at the back of her neck. The touch was solid. Steady. “You don’t know that.”</p><p>“I was supposed to keep him safe. Keep both of them safe. And I keep failing.” How many ways was she going to fail them all? Over and over again her family was getting torn apart and nothing Alec did was keeping them safe.</p><p>“They’re not kids anymore, sweetheart,” Magnus said gently. “You gotta let them make their own mistakes.”</p><p>“I promised Jocelyn I’d look after them. It was the only thing I could do to pay her back.”</p><p>“Pay her back for what?”</p><p>“Letting me be around.” Buried against Magnus made it easier for Alec to admit what she’d never said out loud to anyone else. Here, she felt like she could say anything and it would be okay. Magnus wouldn’t judge her. “She never wanted me there. My presence put her daughter at risk. But Luke and Dot convinced her, and I just, I didn’t want them to regret that. I needed to do something to make up for it, pay her back somehow.”</p><p>The hand on Alec’s neck clenched down for a moment. Then it pulled her in even closer. “Oh, Alexandra. That’s not how life works. Dot loves you. She’s always loved you. Even before I knew who you were, I knew she had a student, and any fool could see she loved you. You’re family to her. And family doesn’t work on a scale of checks and balances.”</p><p>“Mine did. No one ever did anything without holding the favor over you.”</p><p>That was a mindset Alec had never entirely been able to get rid of. No one did something for nothing. No one normal did, that was. Until Alec had met Magnus. And yes, there were times she had no doubt that Magnus had ulterior motives for the things she did. Even some of the things she did with Alec. But she was just… she was just so genuinely <em>nice</em>.</p><p>Alec closed her eyes and nuzzled in, giving Magnus a soft, sleep kiss. “Cept you. You make me happy.”</p><p>She felt Magnus draw in a quick breath. Tasted the return of it across her lips. “You make me happy too, Alexandra.”</p><p>Those were the words Alec held close to her heart when she drifted off to sleep wrapped up in silk and safety.</p><hr/><p>They’d been asleep for what felt like only moments when an alarm rang through the shields around the loft. It was hard enough that Alec felt herself jerking awake with it right alongside Magnus. “What the hell?” Alec demanded, reaching instinctively for her magic as she began to shove out of bed, on alert for whatever threat was coming their way. Her bow and quiver came with a thought.</p><p>In contrast, Magnus’ face lost all color. She was frozen half on the bed, half off. Another blast of the alarm had Magnus lifting wide, horrified eyes toward Alec. “You need to get out of here.”</p><p>“What?” What on earth was Magnus talking about? Like Alec was just going to run and leave her to deal with whatever trouble was here!</p><p>Magnus leapt up from bed and clothed herself with a thought and a twist of magic. The outfit she pulled on was clear battle armor. The shirt was white, but the pants and jacket were black, as were the heels she wore and the leather fingerless gloves. She’d even called up rings, a choker, and her makeup was sharp and dark. Every inch of it was Magnus prepared to go to war. A war she apparently didn’t want Alec here for.</p><p>“There’s no time,” Magnus said, shoving away from the bed and striding around it. Cat eyes were sharp on Alec while she did. “This isn’t Circle members or anything like that, Alexandra. This is the Clave, and they’re here for you. I don’t know why and I don’t know how. But my wards have a few spells on them, and I could hear them. They’re surrounding the building and coming up for <em>you</em>. You need to go until I figure out what the hell is going on.”</p><p>As soon as Magnus said <em>the Clave</em> it was like the bottom dropped out of Alec’s stomach. She wanted to stay, to ask questions, and she wanted to run far and fast.</p><p>Magnus didn’t give her any opportunity. She caught Alec by the strap of her quiver that ran across her tank top and yanked her in for a sharp, fast kiss. When they broke apart, she shoved Alec back. “Go. I’ll call you as soon as it’s safe.”</p><p>A large part of Alec wanted to protest that – loudly. She didn’t need to run and hide! But the risk of staying here was too great. With everything going on right now tensions were high. Alec knew that the Shadowhunters seemed to be cracking down on some things in response to the presence of Circle members and potential Downworlders under Valentine’s control. If these Shadowhunters tried to search the place, Alec being there would only cause trouble for Magnus.</p><p>Alec hated every moment of it, but she called up a portal to one place she knew she’d be safe, at least for a little while at this time of night. “You better call, quick,” she threatened. Then, with one last look at Magnus, Alec darted through the portal.</p><p>Her mad dash took her from Magnus’ bedroom straight to the living room of Luke’s apartment. Alec landed just a little unsteady, too shaky to travel like she normally did.</p><p>As she straightened up, the portal snapped closed behind her and she became aware of the fact that she wasn’t alone.</p><p>Alec lifted her head while straightening up and felt the bottom drop out of her world.</p><p>There, standing in the middle of Luke’s living room, were six Shadowhunters. Two of which were holding Luke down in a chair, their hands on his shoulders and seraph blades in hand. In front of them all stood a tall blond-haired woman who just exuded a presence of command that reminded Alec so much of Maryse.</p><p>One corner of the woman’s mouth quirked up. “I had a feeling you’d run here. Good to know our information was correct.”</p><p>Alec squared herself up, suddenly very conscious of the fact that she was barefoot and in pajama clothes. In the back of her mind she heard her mother’s voice from some of those early, early lessons. <em>Power isn’t solely about how we look. A proper leader could command their people wearing nothing more than rags. It’s a presence, Alexandra. Believe you’re in charge, and others will believe it, too.</em> Those lessons were what Alec drew on now. She stood tall, with her shoulders back, and met the woman eye for eye. “Who are you, and what are you doing here?”</p><p>“I’m Lydia Branwell, acting Head of the New York Institute. And you, Alec, are wanted for questioning under order of the Clave.”</p><p>All Alec could think in that moment as she stared at her was <em>fuck</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, lots of feelings in this. Trigger warnings for canon-typical racism and the things that go with it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The whole room felt like it’d gone silent at Lydia’s pronouncement. Alec was frozen, staring at her with a growing sense of horror. She wasn’t the one to break that silence, either.</p><p>It was Luke.</p><p>“Questioning?” Luke blurted out, heedless of the hands holding him down in the chair or the blades still close to him – <em>too close, oh god, too close</em>. “What kind of questioning do you need her for?”</p><p>Lydia ignored Luke’s voice. She kept her attention on Alec, as did most of the other Shadowhunters in the room. They were serious about this. Alec recognized a team when she saw it. This group was here for the sole purpose of bringing Alec in. Which meant… Alec wanted to let out a heavy sigh. She closed her eyes for just one second. Then she opened them again, unable to bear not being able to see all the threats in the room. “The team at Magnus’ loft was a decoy.”</p><p>“I suspected you might run if you felt them coming. I believe in being prepared,” Lydia said calmly. “Which is why I sent a team there, a team to the once residence of Jocelyn Fairchild, and brought my own team here.” She paused, and then lifted her chin a little. “I also have a two-man team assigned to Clarissa Fairchild, as well as two other teams assigned to Jace Wayland and Isabelle Lightwood. They’re all being held under house arrest at the Institute.”</p><p>A chill ran through Alec. She swore she could <em>feel</em> the net closing in around her. This woman had thought of everything, and she knew – she <em>knew</em> – there was no way Alec could run from this. Not when they already know who her friends and family were. <em>How</em> they got that information, Alec didn’t know. Nor did it really matter.</p><p>Luke was sitting there <em>restrained</em> by a group of Shadowhunters who wanted Alec. Another group was at the loft with Magnus. More were keeping Clary, Jace, and Isabelle hostage at the Institute. How many more would be waiting? And what would they do to her family if she didn’t go with them?</p><p>There was only one real choice Alec could make here. She met Luke’s eyes and whispered a soft “I’m sorry” she knew his senses would pick up on.</p><p>He watched with an aching gaze as Alec carefully drew her bow and quiver off and vanished them away. “Kiddo.”</p><p>“I won’t let them hurt you,” Alec told him, cutting off whatever else he might’ve said. Then she drew in a breath and steadied herself. Spine straight, chin up, eyes steady. They weren’t going to make her cower. No matter the fear that gripped her insides, she wasn’t going to let them see even a <em>hint</em> of it. Her next words were directed right at Lydia. “I won’t fight you. Leave him and the others alone and I’ll come with you.”</p><p>Lydia stepped away from the others and made a small gesture with her hand that sent a couple of them forward. When Alec saw what was in their hands, it took all her control not to flinch back. Not to <em>run</em>.</p><p>One look at Luke reminded Alec why she was doing this. This wasn’t about her. This was about everyone else in her life.</p><p><em>Oh, Angel.</em> Was it meant to always come back to this? Back to the Institute? Alec had spent the last ten years hiding from them, only to get sent right back there all over again. Only this time, she was terrified there was no way she was going to come out of this one alive.</p><p>Still, Alec held her hands out, wrists close together, and let them lock the metal shackles around each one. The minute they snapped into place a feeling of <em>wrongness</em> washed over Alec from head to toe. Her magic screamed inside of her, pushing out against her skin in the kind of blast that she knew would’ve caused serious damage if it wasn’t for the cuffs. As it was, they pinned her magic inside, keeping it trapped underneath her skin like a raging storm.</p><p>The consequences of that didn’t come to Alec right away. Not until she heard the sharp gasps and a few curses from those around her. Alec registered their tension next, the way that all of them were suddenly looking at her like she was so much more of a threat than she’d been before the cuffs were even on.</p><p>Alec looked to Luke, brows furrowed down, instinctively seeking out the help of someone who’d always been there to provide it for her. What she found on his face had her going still. Luke looked – he looked devastated.</p><p>“By the Angel,” one of the Shadowhunters said. He gripped his blade tighter and took a half step back from her, moving into an offensive crouch. “What is she?”</p><p>With a slowly growing sense of horror, Alec slowly tilted her head down and looked at her hands. What she found was something out of her nightmare.</p><p>Black skin.</p><p><em>Her glamour was gone</em>.</p><p>Alec was standing here in a room full of Shadowhunters and <em>her glamour was gone</em>. Did it…was it just her warlock glamour? <em>Oh, Raziel, no. Please no</em>. Alec’s gaze went higher, further up her arm to her bare bicep where a couple runes stood out in stark relief against the whiteness of that bit of skin.</p><p>Alec felt a tremor shake her insides. Any hope she might’ve had of surviving this was long gone. Left behind was a hollow, frozen space inside her.</p><p>“You… you have runes,” Lydia said slowly, almost as if she couldn’t believe the words even as she said them.</p><p>What could Alec say to that? She swallowed down the lump in her throat and said nothing at all.</p><p>Luke was the one to break the silence. If he’d been angry and scared before, it was nothing compared to how terrified he was now. “What are you going to do with her?”</p><p>“She’s going into the cells of the Institute until the Inquisitor can be brought out an she answers some questions.” Lydia frowned at Alec’s arms, and for some reason she didn’t seem anywhere near as calm or pleased as she’d been before. “Far more questions than we’d originally expected.” There was a hint of a furrow to her brows. The way she was looking at Alec made it clear she didn’t understand what was going on here. Or that things weren’t turning out the way she’d expected them to.</p><p>Then Lydia shook her head, and she was straightening up once more, that hint of confusion gone.</p><p>“Let’s go.”</p><p>That simple command had the Shadowhunters on Alec’s sides taking hold of her biceps. She stumbled as they tugged her forward, forcing her to walk. Her lack of clothes and shoes didn’t seem to bother them when they went outside. They tugged her along, and Alec resigned herself to a long, cold walk back to the Institute. Maybe, if she were lucky, by the time she got there she wouldn’t feel anything at all.</p><hr/><p>Pride was about the only thing Alec had left to her. It was the only thing she could clutch to as she walked into the New York Institute between the hold of two Shadowhunters. They paraded in her like she was some kind of freakshow brought out for them to gawk at. No attempts were made at hiding her. Not to cover her up or act in any sort of decency. They walked her in the same way they’d walked her out of Luke’s – barefoot, in her pajamas, her marks and runes on display for everyone to see – and Alec silently bore it all. Every gasp, every curse, every hateful stare.</p><p>They were almost to the elevator when a voice called out to them. No, called out to <em>her</em>.</p><p>“Alec!” The sound of her name was a sharp cry. One that Alec didn’t bother to look up toward. She knew that voice and who it belonged to. Ducking her head, Alec turned the dark side of her face away and prayed for the elevator doors to open quickly. Anything to get them out of here before Isabelle reached them.</p><p>“<em>Alec</em>! No, get out of my way – what are you doing with her?”</p><p>The elevator doors opened, and the hands led her in there. Alec hoped for one moment that they’d let her stay like this, facing the back, but they didn’t. Of course they didn’t. Why would they do anything kind? They turned her, and Alec quickly had to bow her head once more – the only Shadowhunter that she’d bow her head for.</p><p>She heard a soft gasp, and the grunt of two people coming together. Someone catching Isabelle, hopefully, and not her trying to strike someone. It was followed by a low voice saying, “You can’t go with them.”</p><p>“Get your hands off me,” Isabelle snarled furiously. “Alec!”</p><p>Alec didn’t want to look, didn’t want to see whatever horrifying expression might be on Isabelle’s face, and yet she found herself unable to keep her head down. This might be the last chance she got to see her little sister. She had to take advantage of it.</p><p>When she looked up, there was only a moment left. Just a brief glimpse through the closing doors. Yet Alec knew – the image of horror, of heartbreak, written all over her sister’s face was going to stay with her for a very long time.</p><p>The ride down to the lower levels was silent. No one spoke to her. They were on alert. In all honesty, a part of Alec had to admit that this team was a good one. They knew what they were doing, and they were professional. Their grip never went too tight on her arms, they were constantly on alert for any threat both from her and from an outside source.</p><p>Of course, there was also the part where they were treating her like she was less than human, without any sense of basic human decency, but this wasn’t the mundane world Alec was a part of anymore. Just because Luke and his fellow police officers wouldn’t dare treat someone like this didn’t mean she could expect the same from Shadowhunters. To them, she <em>was</em> less than human, and they’d been raised up thinking this kind of treatment was justified.</p><p>Her thoughts were cut off when the elevator came to a stop. Now that there was no sibling to hide from there was no reason for Alec to keep her head down. She lifted her chin up and walked out of the elevator with all the pride she could muster. Even when she saw the clear glass window ahead of her that looked into the empty cell, she kept that pride.</p><p>No matter what came next, no matter what they said or what they did, that part of herself was something Alec could hold on to. It wasn’t something they could take away. She was Alexandra Lightwood, Alec Rollins – both pieces made up who she was, and that wasn’t something she could ever lose.</p><hr/><p>Waking up to Shadowhunters in the middle of the very first night that Magnus got her girlfriend in bed with her wasn’t exactly Magnus’ idea of a good night. More so when those Shadowhunters were there looking for said girlfriend.</p><p>By the time Magnus got them out of there, her magic was quivering with the need to go find Alec and make sure she was safe and okay. Something was wrong – so very wrong. The group of Shadowhunters hadn’t said more than that they were there searching for a warlock by the name of Alec. Not why, nothing except for that she was wanted for questioning by the Clave. As if Magnus would ever hand over anyone to the damned <em>Clave</em>!</p><p>She waited only until she was sure they were gone to race back to her bedroom and grab her phone. The only thing that kept her from portaling anywhere was that niggling feeling of something about this not being right. The Shadowhunters here had left too easily.</p><p>A call to Alec’s phone revealed that it was still sitting in Alec’s room plugged into the charger. Magnus cursed and then dialed the next number she could think of where Alec might be.</p><p>Within just one ring the phone was answered. Luke’s sharp “<em>Magnus, thank God</em>” made the bad feeling in Magnus’ stomach worse.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“<em>Shadowhunters came to my place looking for Alec</em>,” Luke said quickly. “<em>She portaled right into the middle of it. The new Institute Head, Lydia, she had an arrest order for Alec.</em>”</p><p>Fuck! Fuck, fuck, <em>fuck</em>. Magnus’ tightened her grip on her phone. At the same time, a few lightbulbs through the apartment shattered. “Did she get out of there?” She had no idea where Alec would’ve gone next, where else was safe for her to hide. They were going to have to find somewhere truly safe to hunker down for a little while. Not just from the Circle anymore, but the Clave too.</p><p>“<em>Magnus</em>.”</p><p>Something in Luke’s tone cut through Magnus’ mental planning. She stopped her pacing as a chill ran down her spine. “<em>No</em>.” Please, <em>magic</em>, no.</p><p>Luke let out a sigh that sounded so painful. “<em>She didn’t have a choice. They had a team keeping me down, one with you, and they locked down Clary, Isabelle, and Jace at the Institute. They didn’t know enough to know her last name, but they knew how to find her somehow, and how to trap her. There was no way she could get out of going with them</em>.”</p><p>Magnus closed her eyes against the fear and pain that tried to wash through her. Magic coiled around her hands and over her skin – ready and willing to take down anyone and anything that got between her and Alexandra.</p><p>No wonder the team here at the loft had felt wrong. They were a distraction. A trick. One meant to make Alec run. And Magnus had played right into it. She’d sent her girlfriend running right into the arms of the enemy.</p><p>Luke wasn’t done delivering the bad news, however. “<em>Magnus… they put her in warlock cuffs. It canceled out every single glamour she had on. By the end of the day, they’re going to know exactly who she is.”</em></p><p>Every light, vase, and glass object in Magnus’ loft <em>shattered</em>.</p><hr/><p>It took way too long for Magnus to calm herself down after that little revelation. When she was done, she cursed herself for taking the time to blow up like that. Every minute she spent raging was a wasted minute. There had to be some sort of plan she could come up with – something she could do.</p><p>Whatever was going on, whatever reasons they had for bringing Alec in for questioning, all of that was going to take a back burner to what they’d seen on her skin. If it’d just been one glamour or the other, maybe... Maybe it might’ve helped, or at the very least might not have hurt. Magnus couldn’t say exactly seeing as she had no idea what Alec’s mark was.</p><p>But Luke had said <em>every single glamour she had on.</em> That meant they were seeing all sides of Alec. Neither of which the woman ever felt all that safe or comfortable in sharing. Alec’s glamour was personal to her, the way it was to so many warlocks. It helped her feel normal. And they’d put those cuffs on her and stripped that away before dragging her back to the place of her nightmares.</p><p>A few more things in the loft blew up before Magnus found the control necessary to finally focus on doing what needed to be done. They had to come up with some sort of plan – anything.</p><p>First and foremost, she called Catarina. On the off chance that this all went horribly wrong, there needed to be someone Magnus trusted to take care of their people. Catarina was always that person.</p><p>“<em>Don’t do anything stupid, Magnus</em>,” Catarina warned her sharply. “<em>I know you care about her, but</em>…”</p><p>“I love her.” The words came so easily despite the pang of fear they put in her heart. The last time Magnus had said that to someone that wasn’t a part of her little family, she’d opened herself up for so much heartbreak. Magnus had to hold on to the hope that Alec would continue to prove herself to be unlike anyone else out there. But even if she wasn’t, the simple truth of it was – “I love her, Catarina. And I’m not letting her go through this alone.”</p><p>There was a heavy sigh on the other end of the line. More than anyone else out there Catarina knew what kind of person Magnus was. She knew what Magnus would do for those she loved. “<em>Don’t get yourself killed or arrested right alongside her. That won’t do either of you any good.</em>”</p><p>In Catarina terms that was as gentle a ‘take care of yourself’ as she’d give.</p><p>After calling Catarina, Magnus tried Isabelle’s number, and then Clary’s. Neither one got an answer. Which meant they likely weren’t out of house arrest yet. Fine. Magnus would plan what she could without them, and if they got a hold of her later, she’d use whatever information they had and add it in to her plans. For now, she couldn’t waste time. The longer Alec was left with those bastards the more chance they’d have at hurting her.</p><p>Magnus slid her phone down into her pocket and took a deep, steadying breath. Then she began to gather the magic necessary for a portal. This was a trip she’d been thinking about lately, though hadn’t wanted to push with the current climate being what it was. But all bets were off right now. She needed his help, and damn the crotchety old bastard, he was going to give it to her. There was no one else out there who knew the Accords and nephilim laws quite the way that he did. If anyone was going to be able to help her find a loophole, it’d be him.</p><p>Determination locked down Magnus’ expression into something hard. Something dangerous. She strode through the portal without a second glance.</p><hr/><p>How long Alec had been left in this cell was a mystery. There was nothing down here to help her mark the passage of time. No clock on the wall, no watch on her wrist, and her cell phone was back in her bedroom at the loft. There wasn’t anything in the room, either. Just four walls, one made entirely of a reinforced glass she knew she’d never be able to break through, and two lights attached to the ceiling that kept her in perpetual brightness. There were no shadows in this room – no place for her to hide.</p><p>Outside the window was a long stone hallway that led to the elevator down at the end. On either side of that elevator were two guards. Stationed so that they could watch her, but as far away as they could physically be down here. Alec couldn’t help but wonder if that was because it was the most logical standpoint. Or if maybe they just didn’t want to get any closer to her.</p><p>Not that she could blame them. All it took was looking down and seeing the black skin to remind herself of why anyone might want to stay away from her. She looked like a monster.</p><p>A shiver ran down her spine. Alec drew her arms in as best as the shackles would allow and crossed them over her chest. It let her cover her breasts, which were <em>freezing</em>, and tuck cold hands up into her armpits. She’d long since given up standing and trying to wait around for anyone to come back. They clearly were going to take their time with it. In the meantime, it’d left Alec to sit down in the corner of the room and try to curl herself up as much as possible just to keep warm. A glass cell in the basement of a stone church wasn’t exactly warm.</p><p>Her magic was doings its best to try and warm her underneath her skin, but that thin layer between it and freedom was just enough of a layer to keep Alec from really feeling like she was <em>truly</em> warm.</p><p>The sound of the elevator doors opening snapped Alec out of her thoughts and into the present moment. When she looked up, she saw the woman from earlier – Lydia – stepping out.</p><p>Alec slowly and carefully pushed herself up to her feet. She didn’t want to cower in front her.</p><p>The two women met at the glass. Alec was a bit surprised that Lydia didn’t flinch at the sight of her. Not the way she had last time. Or… at least, not at the dark parts of Alec. However, her eyes <em>did</em> flicker down to Alec’s runes, and the skin around her eyes briefly tightened. Then that look smoothed out and she was once more meeting Alec eye to eye.</p><p>“The Inquisitor has been informed of the change in circumstances, and she’ll be here by this evening. Until then, you’re going to be held down here,” Lydia informed her.</p><p>Alec lifted both her eyebrows and curved up one corner of her mouth. Maybe it wasn’t the smart plan, but she went for as dry and insolent a look as possible. “Good of you to let me know. Maybe while you’re here, you can let me know the <em>other</em> charges that sent you all hunting me down? Even mundanes get the right to know why they’re being questioned.”</p><p>A pointed look down at Alec’s runes had the younger woman scoffing.</p><p>“You didn’t even know those were there until you cuffed me,” Alec pointed out. “So, don’t think I’m stupid enough to believe they’re the reason I’m here. If all you had were questions, you could’ve just sent a note and asked me to come in and answer them.”</p><p>“Would you have?” Lydia asked.</p><p>Alec forced a casual shrug. “I guess we’ll never know, will we?”</p><p>For a moment Lydia just stood there and watched Alec. The urge to make a comment about zoos was on the tip of Alec’s tongue. The only thing that held her back was that she knew this woman would likely be just as confused as Alec had been the first time she’d heard of a zoo.</p><p>After a moment, there seemed to be a small give in the tension on Lydia’s face. She looked almost… curious.</p><p>“Early yesterday morning, our systems detected a breech in our wards,” Lydia said. The fact that she was answering at all surprised Alec, though not as much as the words she said. “When I sent people to investigate, we found Clarissa Fairchild and Isabelle Lightwood coming up out of the old crypts. Knowing their tendency to cause trouble, I sent a few Shadowhunters to follow them.” Lydia tilted her head a little and gave it a small shake. “You should really teach your friend how to be more discreet. She was overheard talking about a portal made into the crypt – one made by <em>you</em> – and the young boy you took and buried to turn him into a vampire without his consent.”</p><p><em>Angel-blessed, that woman is going to be the death of me. Perhaps literally</em>. Though Clary hadn’t meant to, she’d handed Alec to them on a silver platter.</p><p>It made sense now why they’d come after her so hard. Not only had Alec helped to break the Accords by helping turn a mundane into a vampire without their written consent, she’d also broken through the wards on the Institute and portaled herself in. If she remembered her teachings right, unauthorized magic of that kind inside the Institute – that spelled out <em>big</em> trouble. Some strange warlock doing it through their current wards during a time of war? That was even worse.</p><p>This wasn’t some small thing that Alec might be able to talk her way out of. Especially not with the addition of the runes she bore. It was becoming less and less likely that Alec was going to get out of this at all.</p><p>There were two routes Alec could see. One that dragged out into a potential trial, during which Clary and/or Isabelle would get pulled down with her. If Alec tried to claim that she didn’t do this, she had no doubt that Lydia or someone else would seek to put the blame on Clary or Isabelle. Or Magnus. After all, Magnus was the warlock they were known for associating with.</p><p>Alec saw one route ahead of her and she hated what she was going to have to do.</p><p>
  <em>I won’t let them hurt you guys anymore. I might’ve failed to protect you before, but I won’t fail again.</em>
</p><p>“Clary and Isabelle had no idea what I was here for, how I got through the wards, or what I was going to do,” Alec said. She kept her voice strong and steady. Looking at Lydia, she said the words that sealed her fate – and saved theirs. “Leave them alone and I’ll give you a full confession.”</p><hr/><p>Hours later found Alec once more curled in against the wall as the elevator doors opened. She didn’t bother rising this time; not even to lift her head and see who it was. There was no way Lydia was back already, and the Inquisitor wasn’t due until that evening. Then again, considering the atmosphere down here it wouldn’t be surprising if Alec’s sense of time was highly skewed. Maybe it <em>was</em> them. Maybe her time here was done, and they were here to take her away, lock her up, <em>kill her</em>.</p><p>She couldn’t find it in herself to protest to that.</p><p>The click of sharp heels and the lower thud of boots made it clear who exactly it was that was coming toward her.</p><p>Alec kept her body curled in close. Any attempt at staying warm had been lost. She didn’t think she was even shivering anymore. Though that might have something to do with the coldness that was inside of her instead of the one in the room around her.</p><p>“Oh my God.”</p><p>That was Clary’s voice. Her sweet, fiery little hurricane that sounded so wounded. It was overrun a second later by the furious snap of Isabelle’s voice. “What are you guys, monsters?” Isabelle demanded. “Look at her! You couldn’t even give her proper clothes or a blanket?”</p><p><em>That would’ve required coming in here with me, or treating me like I’m human, </em>Alec thought flatly.</p><p>She still didn’t look up. Not even when Isabelle snapped “Jace!” and another set of footsteps were moving. Alec didn’t look up until she heard her cell door opening and the sound of people rushing into her cell while somewhere outside someone called out a loud “Hey!”</p><p>“Oh, Alec,” Isabelle breathed out. She didn’t hesitate to dart right over to her, dropping down to her knees at Alec’s side. Her hands were so warm, so hot, when they ran up Alec’s arms and then reached up to curl over her cheeks.</p><p>Alec didn’t want to turn. Didn’t want to lift her head and see whatever look was in Isabelle’s eyes when she caught sight of Alec’s face. But really, she should’ve known better. Known that Isabelle wouldn’t let her hide – and that she didn’t care. When Alec’s face was forced up and her eyes caught on her sister’s, all she saw there was love and heartbreak.</p><p>It was so similar to the look Isabelle had worn the night Alec left home. One that said how clearly she loved her, and how much she was hurting for her.</p><p>“I never wanted you to have to make that face again because of me,” Alec said softly.</p><p>Isabelle stroked her thumbs over the apples of Alec’s cheeks. She didn’t shy away from touching the dark skin. “Oh, <em>hermana</em>, what have they done to you?”</p><p>Someone else came forward, and when Alec jerked to look, worried that the guards had come in, she found Jace squatting down beside her. He’d stripped off his coat and was holding it out to her, a sad look in his mismatched eyes. Alec was absurdly grateful when he gently wrapped it around her. She even sat up a little so he could get it around her back and other side. The material was soft, still warm from where he’d been wearing it.</p><p>Another body was down by her feet. Clary, who was pushing socks of all things over Alec’s cold toes. Alec looked down at her, and Clary stubbornly looked right back at her. “I know some part of you is probably saying it’s gross, but I didn’t know. Otherwise I would’ve brought you a fresh pair.”</p><p>A glance showed that Clary had stripped off her own boots and socks. The boots wouldn’t fit Alec’s feet, Clary’s were quite a bit smaller, but the socks at least did the job of covering them a little and warming them up. Alec licked her lips and felt the absurd need to cry. “Thanks.”</p><p>“You guys can’t be in here!” snapped one of the guards. They were inside the cell now, too, hands on their seraph blades yet looking so uncertain about what it was they should do.</p><p>Isabelle kept her hands on Alec’s face while she twisted to glare up at them. The whip around her wrist slithered like it was just waiting for her command to slide free and attack. “Just try and stop me.”</p><p>“We’re not leaving,” Jace chimed in, startling Alec a little. She hadn’t expected the defense from him. Yet he straightened up and stood there between Isabelle and the guards like he was more than ready to defend them all. “She’s still in her cell, her shackles are still on. She’s not a risk to anyone right now. If you guys can’t be trusted to keep her alive until the Inquisitor gets here, then we’ll do your job for you.”</p><p>They were only going to get themselves in trouble for this. After what Alec had just done to keep them safe, she couldn’t let them do this. Couldn’t let them throw it all away.</p><p>Slowly, carefully, Alec drew her face back from Isabelle’s touch, using her own arms to push them away. When Isabelle’s eyes snapped back to her, Alec shook her head. “You guys need to go.”</p><p>“We’re not leaving you down here,” Isabelle protested immediately.</p><p>Alec shook her head again. “All you’re going to do is get yourself in trouble. You need to <em>go</em>, Izzy.”</p><p>“You heard Iz,” Clary said, curling her hand over Alec’s ankle, eyes bright with that light that said she wasn’t going to back down. “We’re not going anywhere, Alec.”</p><p>Didn’t they understand? Alec licked her dry lips and tried to gather together the composure that had gotten her through this so far. Ordering them to go wasn’t going to work, she knew. She needed to be calm and make them see reason. Even if that meant telling them things they weren’t going to like to hear. “There’s nothing you guys can do…”</p><p>“Of course there is!” Isabelle interjected. She leaned in closer, lowering her voice so that the others wouldn’t be able to hear it over Jace and the guards arguing. “We’re coming up with a plan. Once we get a hold of Magnus…”</p><p>This time it was Alec who cut in. “I confessed.”</p><p>Her words were enough to cut off almost all conversation around them. Isabelle drew back like she’d been slapped. Clary sat up straighter, her hand falling off Alec’s ankle and her mouth dropping open.</p><p>“I confessed,” Alec repeated. “I told them I was the one who made an unauthorized portal past their wards.” She snuck a look up behind Isabelle’s head, conscious of the guards, and somehow caught Jace’s eye when she did. She held it – it was much easier to look at him than to look at her sisters. Either one of them. “I told them I took the mundane and buried him and let him be turned without his written consent. I acted alone.”</p><p>The way that Jace winced, his eyes closing for one brief moment before opening and locking on her again, told her that he, at least, understood what she was doing. So did Isabelle, judging by the aching horror on her face when Alec finally dared to look back down.</p><p>The only one who didn’t was Clary. She didn’t know the Clave, or the Accords, or what kind of things could happen here. Which meant she was the one who stood the most chance of messing this up. But it also meant that she didn’t know how severe the punishments were that Alec was about to face; a small blessing, in Alec’s mind.</p><p>“Alec, you can’t do this,” Clary tried to tell her.</p><p>She was cut off when Isabelle reached back, one hand curling over her wrist. “Clary.”</p><p>“No!” Wrenching her hand away, Clary glared at them both. “You can’t be seriously okay with her doing this!”</p><p>“I’m just telling the truth, Carrot,” Alec said. Which, really, she was. She had been the one to portal in here without any regard for what trouble it might cause or what might happen. She’d also taken Simon away and made the decision to turn him. None of it was a lie. It was just – none of it was the whole truth, either. She wasn’t going to mention Magnus, who’d come in with her and helped her get Simon out. Or Raphael, who’d brought Simon to them in the first place. The only other one she’d implicate was Camille, and she’d do that happily. Let the Clave deal with her.</p><p>It wasn’t like these things mattered in the end anyway. That was just the trappings they were using to hold her here. It didn’t matter if Alec confessed or not. The only thing her confession did was offer some sort of protection to her loved ones. But the minute her glamours had fallen she’d known she was going to be the Clave’s property now. Even if they didn’t kill her for being the abomination she was, they weren’t ever going to let her go. Not when she had the potential to be quite the weapon against them if she so wished. And especially not with Valentine and his experiments on the loose.</p><p>They’d use that as justification, Alec knew. They’d claim she was one of Valentine’s experiments gone wrong. Once they knew who she was, they’d likely claim that he stole her away that night and that’s why that alarm had gone off. That he’d stole her and then used her, twisting her genetics around to come up with <em>this</em>.</p><p>“You need to go,” Alec said in a voice gone soft. “Please, guys. Please.”</p><p>For a moment Alec wasn’t sure her pleas were going to work. Clary, at the least, would fight this. Was already forming a “No!” on her lips. But Jace reached out and curled his hand over Clary’s shoulder to keep her quiet long enough for Isabelle to give a soft “Okay, <em>hermana</em>.”</p><p>“What? Izzy, no!” Clary yelled.</p><p>Isabelle closed her eyes and drew on that well of strength inside of her that Alec had always known was there. The very same one she’d once thought would make Isabelle into a great Shadowhunter. Alec was happy she’d lived long enough to see that she was right.</p><p>When Isabelle opened her eyes once more, that strength shone there. “We’ll leave for now, but I promise you, Alec, we’ll be back. I won’t let them take you from us.”</p><p>There were so many words Alec could say there. So much that she could point out. In the end, she settled for the simplest truth there was. “I love you, Izzy-Bella.”</p><p>“I love you too, big sister.”</p><p>A soft kiss to her forehead, and then Isabelle was rising to her feet with all the grace and poise of the amazing woman she’d grown up to be. Alec felt so very proud of her as she watched Isabelle gather up Clary, who was fighting them every step of the way, and – with Jace’s help – usher the young woman out of there.</p><p>Alec closed her eyes and tried to cuddle down into the jacket a little more. The loss of those three brought back the chill she’d been fighting. She tried to soak some of it back up from the warm material.</p><p>She didn’t realize the guards had stuck around until one of them tried to move toward her. “Let me see the jacket,” he said sharply.</p><p>To Alec’s surprise, the other guard intervened. “Don’t, Colin.”</p><p>“We’ve gotta check it,” the other one – Colin, it would seem – said in a firm voice. “There’s no telling what the others put in there for her.”</p><p>They weren’t going to leave without checking it over. Even if the one seemed reluctant, it was clear that Colin wasn’t. He was going to look Jace’s jacket over no matter what she had to say about it.</p><p>When she tugged the jacket off her shoulders and let it drop to the ground, the two men looked down and then back up at her. The one who’d tried to stop his friend was the one who finally moved forward. He pushed the other guy back, telling him “Go watch the door” before he strode up to Alec. To her surprise, he didn’t scoot the jacket away like she expected. He moved down into a crouch that put his back to his friend and brought him in close proximity to her.</p><p>His hands were professional as they picked the jacket up and patted around to check all the pockets. When he reached the inside breast pocket, Alec saw him hesitate, his fingers clearly curling around something. Whatever he saw when he looked down brought an aching look to his face. He closed his eyes, breathed out, and then withdrew his hand and kept on searching.</p><p>When he was done, he surprised her once again by reaching out and draping the jacket over her. He didn’t reach around her like Jace had. Just draped the jacket over her shoulder and front, which conveniently put her hands right near the pocket where he’d found something.</p><p>“I’m sorry about this,” he said softly. “I’ll see if I can get a tray and blankets brought down, but I’m not sure. It might have to wait until after the Inquisitor arrives.”</p><p>Alec licked her lips again and nodded. She’d expected as much.</p><p>He rose back to his feet, and Alec watched him go. She stayed still as the two guards shut and locked the door again, and as they went to go once more take up their posts against the elevator. Only when they were finally all the way over there did Alec dare to move her fingers and see what it was that the Shadowhunter had found.</p><p>It took only a moment for Alec’s fingers to curl around a long rectangular something wrapped in plastic. Under the guise of adjusting the coat, she opened a small gap at the top. Just enough for her to peek in. What she found had her wanting to smile.</p><p>Underneath the coat where no one else could see, she opened the wrapper to the cereal bar and sent a quick silent <em>thanks</em> to the Shadowhunter who’d left it there.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took far longer than Magnus liked for bits of her plan to start coming together. Most of the morning had been wasted trying to get in to see Ragnor, and even longer convincing the old bastard that she was going to do this with or without his help, and if he wanted her to survive, her chances were better if he would just <em>help her</em>.</p><p>Of course, it’d sort of backfired on her a little. Instead of simply telling her what needed to be done and helping her plan it out, she’d somehow come back with a rather overprotective shadow. One that would deny to his dying day that he was even being overprotective. “I don’t trust you not to muck it all up once you get in there and look at her,” Ragnor had said, rolling his eyes. “You are far too easily distracted by a pair of sad eyes.”</p><p>As if he had any room to talk.</p><p>Magnus hadn’t expected to find her loft already occupied once she returned, either. Or, as close to occupied as her shields would allow.</p><p>After the night’s events Magnus had tightened her shields before leaving. Which meant <em>no one</em> was getting in without her express permission. That hadn’t stopped the trio sitting outside her door from coming upstairs and apparently staging a sit-in to wait for her.</p><p>Once she sensed that no one else was there with them, she waved her hand at the door and opened it, sending a little spurt of magic at the same time to let them in past her warding without having to lower it. She didn’t want anyone able to look or listen in right now. They were going to take no chances that someone might overhear them and whatever they planned.</p><p>The trio made their way into the apartment the instant the door opened. Isabelle led the way, with Clary and then Jace right behind her.</p><p>Magnus caught sight of Clary’s face and went still. “What happened?” What had gone wrong while she was gone? <em>Dammit</em>, she <em>knew</em> she’d taken too long at Ragnor’s!</p><p>A sneer twisted Clary’s lips. “Why don’t you ask <em>them</em>?” she snapped, gesturing toward Jace and Isabelle. She looked clearly furious with them, and heartbroken all at the same time.</p><p>Magic crackled around Magnus’ fingers. “I don’t have time for whatever grievances or games you all have. <em>What happened</em>?”</p><p>It wasn’t Clary who answered. After a brief look at his sister, it was Jace. He didn’t beat around the bush, either, but cut right to the heart of it. “Alec gave them a confession.”</p><p>The words were like a solid blow right to Magnus’ center. She might’ve stumbled back if it wasn’t for the firm hand that curled over the back of her neck and held there. Support and magic both leaked in from that touch.</p><p>“What do you mean, she gave them a confession?” Ragnor asked for her.</p><p>“They’re charging her with an unauthorized portal into the Institute, unlawful use of magic inside an Institute, and aiding in turning Simon without his written consent,” Isabelle said. She didn’t look any happier by it than Jace did, yet her emotions were far more in control than Clary’s.</p><p>As if to prove that, Clary spun and glared at her, lifting a hand and jabbing a finger Isabelle’s way. “And you let her!”</p><p>“What do you expect us to do, Clary?” Jace asked her. He tried to reach out, only Clary jerked away, too furious to be touched at the moment.</p><p>“Something!” Clary snapped at them. “I don’t know – anything! Anything but just walk away and leave her there!” Furious, she stalked through the living room like she couldn’t handle being still. Too much was burning inside her without any outlet. Like the wildfire Magnus had heard Alec compare her to, she was ready to burn down anything and everything in her path if they didn’t find a way to help her control it.</p><p>Isabelle watched her with aching eyes that made it clear she wanted to go to her. To reach out and help soothe that fire. But she stayed where she was, standing proud and tall, and forced her eyes away from Clary to look at Magnus once more. “I’m pretty sure this is Alec’s attempt at protecting us. Our Acting Head put Clary, Jace, and I all on lockdown. If Alec believed that anyone was at risk because of her actions…”</p><p>“…she’d do anything to protect us,” Magnus finished for her.</p><p>It made sense. And though it hurt, it wasn’t anything Magnus hadn’t already factored into her plans. All anyone had to do was spend a little time around Alec to know that she put those she loved above anyone and anything else. Magnus had known Alec sacrificing herself for their safety was a distinct possibility. While it made some of her plans harder, it didn’t make them impossible.</p><p>“Do you think you can get in to see her again?” Magnus asked Isabelle.</p><p>Without hesitation the other girl nodded. “Probably.”</p><p>“If they know she’s a Lightwood, they can’t deny you,” Ragnor said, clearly startling them. When the three Shadowhunters looked at him, he rolled his eyes. “I taught at your Academy once upon a time, and I knew quite a few Shadowhunters. It’s amazing how many of their laws you pick up while working there.”</p><p>Which was why Magnus had gone to him. People constantly underestimated Ragnor. He was too often buried in his books or scaring people off with a scowl or a barbed quip, that they seemed to not notice the sharp mind he had inside. The slightly fussy look he sometimes portrayed only helped further hide that. But very little happened around him that he didn’t notice. There was likely no Downworlder out there who knew Shadowhunter laws better than he.</p><p>“They haven’t ordered any testing done yet,” Isabelle said. “But, I don’t imagine it’ll take long. Too many people saw her when they brought her in, and we look way too much alike.”</p><p>“And Maryse?” Magnus asked. Though they hadn’t really mentioned her at all since they’d first found out she was here, she hadn’t forgotten the woman’s presence. She was the proverbial elephant in the room they were all doing their best to constantly avoid.</p><p>A long, speaking look passed between Jace and Isabelle. “Maryse conveniently got sent out to Idris at some point last night. She’s not due back until tonight,” Jace said.</p><p>Isabelle nodded. “Don’t worry about her, though. I think Mom might actually surprise you all a bit.” At the skeptical look Magnus couldn’t help but pull, Isabelle actually smiled a little, sad though it was. “Mom wasn’t the best parent out there, but Alec leaving… it changed her, in a lot of ways. She’s not what you’d expect.”</p><p>Yes, well, that wasn’t something Magnus was willing to bet Alec’s life on. For now, Magnus chose to ignore her just as they’d been doing thus far. Ragnor, it seemed, was willing to do the same. “If they discover your biological connection, they won’t be able to deny you visitation rights,” Ragnor told Isabelle. “It’s one of the few humane aspects of their prison system.”</p><p>“I don’t think Alec wants to make that connection,” Jace pointed out.</p><p>It was Isabelle who actually spoke up and cut him off. “If it keeps her alive, I don’t care what she <em>wants</em>. I can prove she’s my sister within the hour with conclusive data not even the Clave will be able to deny. But what good is that going to do except getting me in to see her?”</p><p>“If you can prove she’s your sister, it’s going to verify her status as Shadowhunter, opening up a wealth of rights that she wouldn’t have if she were simply a Downworlder,” Ragnor explained. What he didn’t say was that this was likely going to be the Clave’s intention. Magnus had no doubt they’d make up some story about her and her runes just to deny her that Shadowhunter status, thus making it easier for whatever it was they planned to do with her.</p><p>Clary looked like she wanted to speak, only she got cut off by Isabelle first. “It’s also going to open up a whole other list of problems. Like why she left, where she’s been, and why she never came back. Either they’ll try and claim that Jocelyn, Luke, and Dot kept her hostage and try to go after all them for kidnapping a Shadowhunter, or they’re going to try and bring Alec up on charges of desertion.”</p><p>“Desertion?” Clary blurted out. She looked from one face to the next, clearly seeking someone to help her understand. “She was like, <em>ten</em>!”</p><p>“She was a soldier from the minute they put the angelic power rune on her body,” Jace answered quietly.</p><p>Lilith damn this ridiculous society that felt the need to make soldiers out of <em>children</em>. Magnus would never understand it. Nor could she understand how it was they made Downworlders out to be the monsters. Not when all someone had to do was take a look at their children to see the truth.</p><p>“We’ll deal with those charges as we need to,” Magnus finally said, waving them off for now. She had to focus on one problem, one step, at a time. Right now they had to accomplish <em>this</em> if they wanted to make any of the next steps easier. “For now, I need you to do whatever you can to gather proof that Alexandra is a Lightwood. After that, I want you to go down and see her and stay with her until…”</p><hr/><p>It didn’t take long for Magnus to lay out things for the Shadowhunters. She didn’t explain it all; some things were better kept only to those who needed to know. She didn’t want it to fall into the wrong ears, after all. Right now Magnus was going to play this as carefully as possible. She wasn’t going to risk <em>anything</em> where Alec was concerned.</p><p>While Isabelle went to take care of her part, Magnus took a few moments to prep herself for <em>hers</em>. She showered, shaved, and then carefully selected an outfit. Magnus was going into this as the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and that meant a certain image had to be presented, but she was also going to the Institute of all places which meant some of that image had to be toned down.</p><p>She chose a pair of black pants, and the most boring black boots she owned, with just the slightest of heel. Red for the shirt, with matching red streaks in her hair, and then one of her more gothic inspired red and black jackets.</p><p>Magnus had just buttoned herself up and was adjusting the tails and cuffs when Ragnor came in. He didn’t bother knocking, a fact which got him a raised eyebrow from Magnus.</p><p>He just waved off that look. “It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before, and in far too much detail.”</p><p>The both of them grimaced a little at that. While neither was really shy, and they’d been in their share of bathhouses together, the instances he was referring to were ones both would like to kindly forget. They’d never slept together or anything like that. But Ragnor had walked in on Magnus and her many paramours over the years. Usually Magnus didn’t mind an audience – hell, orgies had once been how she spent most of her time. But it was different when it was <em>Ragnor</em> who was seeing her.</p><p>“If you’d quit just walking in, you wouldn’t ever have to see any of that,” Magnus pointed out.</p><p>Ignoring her, Ragnor strolled over and held out a piece of paper. “This just arrived. I thought you might like to know we’re all ready to go. But, if you’d prefer to stand here preening a little longer, I can just go wait outside till you’re done.”</p><p>Magnus turned away from the mirror and snatched the paper out of Ragnor’s hand. It was from Isabelle, and all it said was: <em>We’re ready</em>.</p><p>Okay. Drawing in a breath, Magnus straightened herself up. <em>Okay</em>. They could do this. They <em>had</em> to do this. Alec’s life was on the line.</p><p>Magnus looked back to Ragnor, who was waiting patiently beside her in his own suit, glamour deliberately gone, and she knew she had to give him one last out. Even if she didn’t think he’d take it. “You don’t have to do this, old friend. I know you wanted to stay out of sight till all this is over.” This would be more than just coming out of hiding. This was more like throwing himself right into the middle of everything.</p><p>Ragnor gentled a little in that way he so rarely let anyone else see. “And leave you to storm the Institute on your own? My dear girl, I value my life too much to allow that to happen.” He sniffed a little and shook his head. “Catarina would never forgive me if I let something happen to you.”</p><p>Though he wrapped it in mocking and a play at selfishness, it was easy for Magnus to recognize the words underneath it all. She reached out and caught one of his hands in hers, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Thank me once we’ve rescued your princess from the castle,” Ragnor said, shaking his head. “Now, come on, let’s go.”</p><p>Magnus took one last look in the mirror to make sure her hair was perfect and her makeup dark and sharp. <em>Right. Let’s go rescue the princess.</em></p><hr/><p>From the minute Magnus stepped through the portal and onto the front walk of the New York Institute she was every inch the High Warlock of Brooklyn. She stood proud and tall as she made her way up the front stairs, Ragnor just a step behind her.</p><p>As per their plan, Jace opened the door to greet them before they got too close. People were far less likely to protest their presence if they were escorted in by the local <em>Golden Boy</em>.</p><p>“You ready for this?” Jace murmured once they reached him.</p><p>Magnus gave him a shark’s grin. Sharp and lethal. “Absolutely.”</p><p>“Good. Izzy’s down with Alec right now, but last I knew she wasn’t exactly planning on telling Alec what’s going on. Less chance of her arguing about it until it’s too late.”</p><p>That… was probably for the best. Alec wasn’t likely going to be thrilled with them for putting themselves ‘at risk’ to help her in what she likely saw as a hopeless cause. Magnus would have to make it up to her later.</p><p>For now, it was time to start stage one of their plan.</p><p>With a nod, Magnus let Jace know they were ready, and the three of them braced as they walked into the Institute.</p><p>It took only a few steps in before they were stopped. They hadn’t even made it all the way through the front hall to the Ops Center. A furious looking blond who could be none other than the Ms. Lydia Branwell they’d been told about came striding toward them, her expression clearly unhappy. “What is going on here?” she demanded the instant she was close.</p><p>Jace stepped smoothly forward in a way that put him between her and the warlocks without actually being in the middle. “Allow me to introduce to you our local High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane.”</p><p>The way Lydia startled a little at her name, and how she briefly turned to give Magnus a quick look, were quickly washed away under the mask of professionalism. “High Warlock Bane, to what do we owe your visit today? I wasn’t aware anyone had called for your services.”</p><p>Magnus let her smile shift into a smirk that was skirting the edges toward mocking. “Ah, but anytime there’s a breech in the wards here it’s custom for the Head of the Institute to contact me to perform an assessment and figure out what went wrong. For a fee, of course.” Her smirk hardened just a little, not a threat quite yet but a <em>promise</em> of one. “There’s also the matter of you imprisoning one of <em>my</em> warlocks. As per the Accords, it’s customary to contact the closest High Warlock to help oversee the matter. An oversight I’m sure you were eager to address. Luckily for you, Jace took care of the necessary notifications.”</p><p>That little rule hadn’t been something Magnus was actually aware of, a fact which pissed her off quite a bit seeing as how she <em>was</em> the local High Warlock. Ragnor had been the one to inform her about it, citing that it was a little known thing some of the others had been able to squeeze in thanks to Valentine’s experiments. It was meant as a way to verify that it was either the warlock acting alone, or under some kind of influence.</p><p>It was a bit impressive to watch the way that Lydia schooled her expression to keep her annoyance from showing. She didn’t even look over to Jace, though the way she deliberately avoided it made her frustration with him clear. He was going to pay for role in this. Magnus had tried to warn him of that, but he’d insisted he’d be fine.</p><p>Lydia turned her focus to Ragnor next. “And you?”</p><p>Ragnor was every inch the professional. So much so it put Lydia’s attempts to shame. He’d been playing this game since long before she’d even been born. “My name is Ragnor Fell, and I’m here to act as advocate for the accused.”</p><p>“Advocate? But only…”</p><p>“Shadowhunters may request one,” Ragnor finished smoothly. “Yes, we’re all quite aware of that rather… unique fact.” He had just enough disdain on those last two words to make his disgust clear without stepping over into any kind of disrespect Lydia might be able to call him out on. “Luckily for us, my client meets those qualifications. Now, if you’d be so kind as to find me an escort down there, I’d appreciate a chance to speak with her.”</p><p>Magnus was probably enjoying Lydia’s growing frustration a little too much. She knew she was being played, she just couldn’t see a way out of it.</p><p>“You can’t have it both ways,” Lydia told them, eyes going from one to the other. “Either she’s a warlock under Magnus Bane’s care, or she’s a Shadowhunter.”</p><p>Ragnor smiled at her. “Actually, I believe you’ll find we very much can, Ms. Branwell. If you have any questions about that I suggest you consult Isabelle Lightwood’s report. She assured me she’d submitted it to the Clave, along with the necessary secondary verification from two of her assistants.”</p><p>Oh, yes, it was <em>quite</em> satisfying. Magnus could see the exact moment Lydia realized she wasn’t going to win. Her eyes went hard, and she drew herself up into a soldiers’ pose. “Of course, gentlemen. If you give me one moment, I’ll see that you’re escorted downstairs. Mr. Wayland, if you wouldn’t mind…”</p><p>Lydia tugged Jace away from them, leaving the two standing there waiting for them. It took a lot of effort for Magnus not to grin outright. Or laugh.</p><p>“That went smoother than I expected,” Ragnor murmured lowly.</p><p>“That was just step one. Let’s see how the rest of it goes before we start celebrating.”</p><p>When Jace came back over to them, he was smiling, which Magnus chose to take as a good sign. She didn’t say anything about it when he led them through the Ops Center. All eyes were on them, and she didn’t want anyone listening in. Instead, she waited until they were in the elevator to look up at him and say, “You look awfully pleased with yourself. I assume she didn’t dress you down too much.”</p><p>“Oh, no, I’m definitely in trouble,” Jace said cheerfully.</p><p>Ragnor leaned forward to shoot him a curious look. “Do I want to know why you look so pleased about that?”</p><p>“Cause it’s always fun to watch the higher ups get so wrapped up in red tape they can’t bullshit their way out of it?”</p><p>His answer had Ragnor shaking his head, and Magnus snorting a little. She was starting to like this brash Shadowhunter the more she had to deal with him. He could be frustrating sometimes, usually in response to how much he’d frustrated Alec, but he had quite a few good qualities. Once this was over, Magnus would have to have everyone over to the loft for a night. Something told her drinking with this group might be a good time.</p><p>Then the elevator came to a stop and all thoughts about future plans were pushed out of the way. Their current ones needed her attention far too much. More than that – Alec was on the other side of these doors. Magnus was finally going to at least get to see with her own eyes that her girlfriend was okay.</p><p>Even knowing what kind of people Shadowhunters were, and just how bad some of them could be, it was still a shock to step out of those elevator doors and see what was waiting for her.</p><p>The cell itself could’ve been worse. Magnus had seen the cells in some Institutes that were much harsher than this. Alec had a room to herself, as well as lights, and she wasn’t chained to the floor, walls, or hanging from the ceiling. She <em>was</em>, however, curled up in the corner of her room, body tucked in tight away from Isabelle, and though she had on a jacket and socks that Magnus was pretty sure weren’t hers, he was still dressed in the pajamas she’d worn to bed last night. There was no blanket for her, no bed, no chair to sit on. Not a single bit of anything to even attempt to make her comfortable.</p><p>Magnus sucked in a breath and fought to control her temper. She didn’t need to be setting off sparks and scare the goon squad standing on either side of them.</p><p>“Sorry,” Jace said lowly, looking like he meant it. “I didn’t think to warn you. They wouldn’t let us down earlier, and when they finally let Izzy in they took away everything she wanted to bring down.”</p><p>“I’m reminded all over again why I went into seclusion,” Ragnor murmured.</p><p>Magnus was done listening to them. She was done listening to anything. Her magic ached to leap out and curl around Alec just the same as her arms did, and at least one of those was going to have the opportunity, even if the other couldn’t. She strode forward, ignoring the voices that tried to stop her. Jace was answering them and Magnus trusted him to have her back. With Ragnor on her heels, Magnus marched right up to the open door alongside the cell.</p><p>When she rounded the corner to step inside, the first thing she heard was Alec saying “…me alone, Izzy. <em>Please</em>.”</p><p>“Not happening, <em>hermana</em>,” was Isabelle’s firm reply. “I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>The room was brightly lit, which meant nothing was left hidden when Magnus stepped into the room. Up close like this, without Isabelle’s kneeling body blocking most things, Magnus got her first clear sight of her girlfriend. What she saw had her heart breaking a little more.</p><p>Alec had compacted herself into as small a ball as humanly possible. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, arms tucked in, and her head was bowed down. The jacket she wore was pulled forward in what was a clear attempt to block off her legs. Either to keep them warm, or to hide them. Magnus was betting on a little bit of both. The last thing Alec likely wanted was anyone else to see the mark that stood out so clearly on her skin.</p><p>Though Magnus had a feeling Alec wouldn’t agree, she couldn’t help but think that what she could see of Alec’s mark was… stunning. Wonderfully, beautifully stunning. The inky black skin of her left arm and leg, and what looked like some that might be on her face. And, when Alec adjusted the jacket, it looked like it was on her right arm as well. She looked so beautiful that Magnus fingers ached to reach out and touch.</p><p>Magnus hated that this moment had been taken from them. That Alec’s <em>choice</em> had been taken. It should be up to the warlock to reveal their glamour or not. That was a private, personal thing. To be stripped of that choice on top of everything else had to be so hard for her.</p><p>Everything about Magnus gentled as much as she could in that moment. Conscious of the guards who were still with Jace on the other side of the glass, Magnus made her movements easy and graceful, trying to keep down anything that might be considered as a threat while still keeping herself open for Alec, and she took a few steps forward.</p><p>The sound of her boots had Isabelle looking up. Not Alec, though. She ducked her head down further and turned her face toward the wall, hiding the darker side. “Did she drag you down here, too? I told you guys, I don’t want you down here. <em>Go away.</em>”</p><p>“Well, talk about a lovely greeting,” Magnus said, watching as Alec’s body snapped taut at the sound of her voice. Taking another step closer, Magnus gentled her voice even more. “I’m happy to see you too, Cinderella.”</p><p>It made her heart <em>hurt</em> to see the way that Alec drew further in on herself. She tugged at the jacket like she was trying desperately to hide any inch of herself that might be showing. Yet one hazel eye peeked up like she couldn’t quite help herself.</p><p>The look in that eye – the longing, the heartbreak – was almost Magnus’ undoing. She could no more have stayed where she was than she could’ve sliced off her own hands. In a few steps she’d closed the distance between them. When she reached Alec’s side, she gracefully sank down to her knees, not even caring about the fact that she was kneeling on what was likely a dirty floor.</p><p>Alec flinched when Magnus reached her hand out, something that she’d never done before. Not that Magnus let it stop her. She used a knuckle to brush back a bit of hair that had gotten loose from Alec’s braid. Then she twisted her hand to run her knuckles down Alec’s cheek. “Oh, Alexandra.”</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Alec croaked out. There was a rasp to her voice that Magnus had learned meant her emotions were closer to the surface. She watched as Alec’s one visible eye closed. Exhaustion lined her features. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”</p><p>“I will always want to see you, darling. And you will always be beautiful to me.”</p><p>Those words were important, yet at the moment Magnus knew they wouldn’t be enough. If this had been done in a proper setting, just the two of them alone in the loft, she could’ve done so much more to reassure Alec. They would’ve had candles, and a nice romantic evening to go with it, and Magnus would’ve been free to touch and kiss and spread Alec out to see all of her properly while Magnus reassured her love just how beautiful she found every single inch of her.</p><p>For now, they had to settle for this brightly lit cage and the audience around them.</p><p>“My sweet girl,” Magnus murmured. Bending in, she took advantage of the way Isabelle had twisted just enough to block them – not just from the guards, but from the camera, too, Magnus noticed – and she pressed a soft kiss to Alec’s temple.</p><p>Alec shuddered underneath that touch. Almost like she couldn’t help herself, she turned into it, nuzzling Magnus’ hand as she did. “Magnus. What are you doing here?”</p><p>“I’m your Knight in shining eyeliner, aren’t I?” Magnus smiled at her, a warm curl of her lip. “I mean, we already established I’m not the prince. I’m much better than he could ever hope to be. And I get the pleasure of coming in to rescue the princess myself.”</p><p>She was rewarded with a faint twitch to Alec’s lips. “Not a princess.”</p><p>“You’re <em>my</em> princess.”</p><p>Those words had Alec giving that wonderful blush of hers. She was so easy to please with those kinds of soft words and nicknames. Magnus could only imagine how often Alec had heard words in the opposite direction. With her muscular build, her height, and the scowl she often wore around others, she put up quite the image of strength and competence. She’d told Magnus once that most people considered her too <em>butch</em> to really be a girl. And she was proud of her strength, as she should be. But there was a part of her that adored all the soft, lovely things that Magnus called her, how she treated her like she really was some sweet princess. Even if Alec couldn’t say it, Magnus knew.</p><p>Magnus wanted nothing more than to continue to compliment and reassure Alec. But, they didn’t have time for it. That was going to have to wait for when they finally got her home.</p><p>For now, she slid her hand down Alec’s cheek and used one knuckle to tip her chin up just enough that she could meet both eyes. She made very sure not to visibly react to the blackness around Alec’s eye and down the side of her face. “As much as I love sitting here making you blush, my love, we’re on slightly limited time here.”</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Alec repeated.</p><p>This time Magnus gave her a serious answer. “Helping. You didn’t think we’d leave you to handle this on your own, did you?” She didn’t give Alec a chance to answer that. They both knew what her answer would be anyway. Sitting back on her haunches, Magnus gestured toward Ragnor, who came forward. “I’d like to introduce you to your new Advocate – think of him like your lawyer from here on out.”</p><p>Alec looked surprised as she glanced at Ragnor. Seeing his green skin on display, his horns clear to be seen, had Alec blinking a little. But she didn’t startle and she didn’t linger on it. She just looked back at Magnus, her body instinctively straightening up a little while her brow furrowed down. “My advocate? Isn’t that something Shadowhunters have?”</p><p>“Indeed it is,” Magnus said easily.</p><p>She didn’t have to explain, though it looked like Alec might already be beginning to guess where this was going. Isabelle stepped in and did it for her. “Good thing I finished the tests earlier and sent off verification to the Clave to prove to them you’re Alexandra Lightwood.”</p><p>Now <em>that</em> was enough to get Alec’s head to snap up. She stopped hiding her face to gape up at Isabelle. “You did <em>what</em>?”</p><p>“She gave us the means to protect you,” Magnus said. She reached in past the jacket to take hold of one of Alec’s hands. Lacing their fingers together, Magnus tugged a little, bringing Alec’s angry eyes back to her. “Trust that we know what we’re doing, darling. We’re going to take care of you. All I need you to do is let us.”</p><p>She knew it was a lot to ask. With everything that had already happened, all the choices ripped away from Alec here, having someone take this choice from her too had to be so damn hard. It was something Alec had spent a decade running and hiding from. Now they’d erased all of that, and they’d done it without her consent. If Magnus hadn’t firmly believed it would help them save her life, she wouldn’t have dared do it.</p><p>“You two can be disgusting later,” Ragnor interjected, rather rudely in Magnus’ opinion. He waved a hand and summoned a long wooden table and a couple of matching chairs. The noise outside the cell grew a little louder. They all ignored it for the moment. Ragnor took one of the chairs closest to the wall, providing him with a perfect view of the glass wall, and he used magic to pull out the other chair. “We have only a little time until the Inquisitor arrives, by my understanding, and a lot to talk about. I’d much prefer to do it up here in comfort rather than on that filthy floor, but the choice is yours.”</p><p>Magnus rolled her eyes. She looked back down at Alec, making sure she could see the exasperated look that Magnus sported. “I’d try and claim he wasn’t always like this, but it’d be a lie.”</p><p>To her surprise, Alec visibly swallowed, and yet she began to unwind herself from the ball she’d been in. It looked like it took effort for her to let more of her body show. It didn’t stop her, though.</p><p>When the cuffs on her wrists came into view, Magnus had to once more tamper down her rage. She wanted to snap them away to the bottom of the ocean where no one would ever be able to use them again.</p><p>Alec held on to Magnus’ hand and let the other woman pull her up to her feet. She must’ve been sitting quite a while because her movements started out stiff. But she stood tall once she was upright. Pride straightened her spine the same as it lifted her chin. It was likely also what had her stepping away from Magnus and holding her hands out to Ragnor while she met him with a steady, unflinching stare. “You must be Ragnor Fell. I’ve heard a lot about you.”</p><p>“Half of which I’m sure is lies,” Ragnor said. He held his hand out and let Alec take it in both of hers, as calm as if they were meeting over afternoon tea. When he drew his hand back, he used it to gesture at the chair. “Why don’t you have a seat?”</p><p>Alec did as he suggested. She slipped down into the chair, shivering just a little as she went. The coat had been lost somewhere during her rise and it was clear she was feeling the lack of it. Magnus didn’t let herself stop to think before she snapped and summoned a clean pair of clothes onto Alec’s body. Yoga pants, because there was no point in being uncomfortable while trapped in here, a tank top, and a large, soft sweater in dark green that she’d be able to burrow in and stay warm with while still looking put together.</p><p>“Hey!” One of the guards had finally gotten past Jace, and he was standing in the door, blade in hand. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”</p><p>Magnus met his gaze calmly. She wrapped herself up in her persona once more and locked away any of the softness she’d shown Alec only moments ago. The bastards didn’t deserve even a <em>hint</em> of that. “I’m overseeing the safety and comfort of one of my charges – a right I very much have. If you’d like, I can quote the section of the Accords for you that deals with it.”</p><p>The Shadowhunter glared at her, not backing down. “There’s no unauthorized magic done in the Institute’s walls.”</p><p>“That would imply it wasn’t authorized,” Jace said firmly, elbowing his way into the room. “But seeing as how I have permission from our Acting Head for them to do the necessary magic to guarantee the safety of the prisoner, I’m pretty damn sure that’s <em>authorized</em> enough for even you, Colin. Now why don’t you go back out there with Andrew and wait for the Inquisitor. I’ll stay here and watch over them.”</p><p>The look Colin shot their way could’ve curdled milk. Magnus just smiled back at him.</p><p>At least Isabelle waited until he’d stormed off before she started snickering. She shot Jace a look of amusement. “Look at you acting all authoritative. Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”</p><p>“Bite me,” Jace shot back dryly. He walked up and took one of the chairs on the end of the table, nearest Ragnor, and dropped himself down into it with a low <em>thump</em>. “Right, so, I guess I’m just playing babysitter until things get going. So, don’t mind me.”</p><p>“Few ever do,” Isabelle shot back. But she was grinning when she moved over and perched herself on the armrest of his chair. One of her heels went onto the seat right between his legs, uncomfortably close if the way Jace scooted back was anything to go by.</p><p>Their banter seemed to have relaxed Alec a little more. Though, that could’ve very well had something to do with the fact that she was dressed in normal clothes once more. Clothes that Magnus had made sure would feel as warm as if they’d just come out of the dryer. But relaxed though she was, she chose to ignore the others and focus on Ragnor. “Right. So, what’s the plan? Because the last I checked, I’d promised Lydia my confession, and that’s going to be on camera. I can’t exactly go back on that.”</p><p>“You’re not going to,” Ragnor reassured her. He summoned a paper and, oh Lord, an actual inkwell and <em>quill</em>.</p><p>Magnus rolled her eyes and snorted. “And you call <em>me</em> pretentious.”</p><p>Ignoring her completely, the brat, Ragnor leaned forward and rested one arm on the table, his other one scooting the items closer toward Alec. “We’re going to write out your confession for the Inquisitor to read. Then, we’re going to discuss your testimony. While normally I might suggest you request a trial by sword…”</p><p>“…that might not work out to well for me,” Alec finished for him, her voice a bit wry.</p><p>“Indeed. However, there are truth spells. Ones that the Clave has asked me to perform for them in the past. While they might not trust Magnus to do it considering your relationship, I’ve proven quite trustworthy to them in the past.”</p><p>“How does that help us?”</p><p>Magnus moved around behind Alec’s chair, choosing for the moment to stay out of this part of things. She was mostly here to establish her role in the eyes of the Institute so that her potential help later on would go smoother, if it proved they needed it. But this part of things was between Alec and Ragnor. To keep out of it, Magnus reached for Alec’s messy braid and untied the band at the end so she could get to work finger-combing it and re-braiding it for her. The process would serve to relax the both of them.</p><p>“The truth is often the best route, until it isn’t,” Ragnor said. “Right now, your truths are going to mean much more than anything we could try and craft. So long as we present them in the correct light, they’re going to paint a picture not even the Clave can deny.”</p><p>The two leaned forward, putting their heads together over the paper, and slowly began to plan.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time the Inquisitor finally arrived Alec felt much more hopeful than she’d originally been. Having people on her side, a <em>plan</em>, pushed away the helplessness that had gripped her before. She wasn’t going to have to handle this alone, not anymore. She sat there at the table with Ragnor by her side. Magnus, though she wasn’t happy about it, was standing outside the room with Jace and Isabelle. While Magnus had rights as High Warlock to see to the care of one of her warlocks, that didn’t extend to being in the room with Alec during the interrogation.</p><p>Imogen Herondale was a name that Alec remembered, and what she knew of the woman said she was stern, hard, and not someone to be messed with. Ragnor had warned Alec during their prep that Imogen was very by-the-books and old-fashioned in a lot of ways. Yet she had a political eye he was sure they’d be able to exploit. All they needed to do was make sure she saw something to gain out of this situation.</p><p>The look of her certainly lived up to her reputation. Imogen was dressed in dark, severe clothes, her hair cut short, and a frown on her face. Hard eyes were watching Alec from the instant she stepped out of the elevator.</p><p>Four Shadowhunters accompanied her. It wasn’t surprising when she brought them into the room with her. Two warlocks, one of which were free to use their magic – as free as any warlock was inside the Institute – were going to put someone like Imogen on edge. She’d want to even the playing field. Ragnor had predicted that.</p><p>Imogen came to a stop at the other side of the table from them. She stood next to the chair, her eyes drifting over Alec for a moment, clearly taking in the runes on her skin as well as the dark patches. Magnus had offered to lay a glamour over them for her, but Alec had declined. Their presence there with her, and Ragnor’s own lack of glamour, gave Alec the strength to sit there with her own on display.</p><p>Whatever Imogen thought when she looked at Alec, it tightened her lips into a firm line. Then she turned her attention to Ragnor. Though her look was less severe than the one she’d had for Alec, it was still a far cry from anything <em>friendly</em>. “Ragnor Fell.”</p><p>“Inquisitor Herondale.” Ragnor gave a small, seated bow. “It’s been a few years. I’m glad to see you’re still well.”</p><p>Her lips turned up at one corner. “Are you?” She shook her head, cutting off whatever answer he might have given, and sank down into the chair opposite them. It was kind of impressive how she managed to sit almost like her chair was a throne. This was a woman who had power and <em>knew it</em>. “I’m not quite sure what your presence here is for, Mr. Fell, but I’m quite sure it’s going to prove to be interesting. Perhaps you’d all like to start by explaining to me why we’re all here.”</p><p>“I was under the impression you were already informed behind why your presence was requested?” Ragnor said politely.</p><p>She shot him a sharp look that even Alec could tell was a clear warning. “I’m not in the mood for your games, Mr. Fell. These are quite a few serious charges that are being leveled here.”</p><p>“Charges which my client is willing to answer for. But <em>only</em> for her part in things. We’re hoping to solve things peacefully here with you, instead of dragging this out over a rather public trial. One that could prove to be quite the mess.” Ragnor made a low tsk’ing sound and sat back in his seat, shaking his head a little. “Seeing as how she’s legally bound to both sides of the Accords, both Shadowhunters and Downworlders, and usual methods of dealing with either would put her at great personal risk, it might take some time to work out the logistics of it all.”</p><p>Alec was slightly impressed by Ragnor’s clear word play. She was almost as impressed with the way the Inquisitor’s eyebrow gained a small twitch the more that Ragnor spoke.</p><p>“Your <em>client</em> opened an unauthorized portal into our Institute,” Imogen said firmly, her eyes flashing over to Alec.</p><p>Ragnor nodded his head agreeably. “Yes, she did.”</p><p>They’d known there was no way of denying that one. There was too much proof that Alec had done this.</p><p>Imogen looked to Alec, clearly ready to start asking questions, only for Ragnor to cut her off. He slid the paper they’d written Alec’s confession on across the table. “Ms. Lightwood and I went over the charges before you arrived. Everything she knows about what happened is right here on this paper.”</p><p>“I’m supposed to simply trust this?” Imogen asked dryly.</p><p>A smirk ghosted over Ragnor’s lips. “Read the paper, Inquisitor.”</p><p>This was the part that Alec was the most nervous about. This right here was going to set the course for what happened to her. What they’d put down on that paper, the way they’d worded things, Ragnor was sure Imogen would see the political advantage of pursuing some of the points on there. Camille, for one. “She’s a big name,” Ragnor had pointed out earlier. “She’s also one that Imogen will be quite happy taking down. She’ll enjoy having that attached to her. But, that’s just the carrot we’re dangling to draw her in. Once we have her where we want her, we’ll offer her the real prize.”</p><p>That was the part of things that Alec knew was going to take the most work. It was also the part that could go one way or another. Imogen wasn't going to like this, not at all, but she also wasn't going to be able to turn it down. Not once Alec let her know what exactly it was that she had.</p><p>For a few long minutes Imogen just sat there and read through what they’d put on the paper. The fact that she was doing it and wasn’t immediately launching into questions for Alec was more than the young girl had hoped for. But when Imogen finally looked up, the look in her eyes had Alec wanting to squirm.</p><p>“Your claims are interesting,” Imogen said calmly. “You claim she’s legally bound to both sides of the Accords, and yet, I’m having a hard time believing this.”</p><p>“The tests done by Isabelle Lightwood leave no doubt,” Ragnor said. In contrast to Imogen’s naturally sharper tone, his own stayed level and easy. “Impossible though it may seem, Alexandra Lightwood is a nephilim and a warlock. The markers for both run in her body.”</p><p>“Which leave only one likely outcome. She’s an experiment of Valentine’s. In which case, nothing she says here is viable.”</p><p>This was one of Alec’s fears – something she’d known might happen. “No, I’m not,” Alec interjected, though Ragnor had advised her against responding to anything that wasn’t a direct question. Her hands clenched down underneath the table where no one would be able to see. It was the only outward sign she allowed to show on her body. “No one captured me.”</p><p>Imogen gave her a look of clear disdain. “And I’m supposed to simply believe you? Without the ability to put you under the sword, how can we be sure that anything you say is true?”</p><p>“A truth spell would do the job,” Ragnor offered.</p><p>Only, to Alec’s surprise, Imogen shook her head. Something that they hadn’t been counting on. “With her powers how can we be sure her unique physiology doesn’t allow her to bypass such a spell? We have no way of knowing what we can trust with her. Everything she’s said, everything she’s done, could be a lie. How can we be sure her actions portaling into the Institute were for something as <em>simple</em> as retrieving the body of her friend, which you seem to have no explanation for why that body was even here to begin with?”</p><p>Imogen was slowly gaining ground with each word she said. Alec could see as she drew herself up, wrapping the authority of her position around her. One that came with the full backing of the Clave. A Clave which had hated half of Alec’s genetics for long before she was ever even born. Though they claimed that they were against Valentine, their own hatred wasn’t hard to see.</p><p>They had no care for Alec right now, no care for what she was going to offer them.</p><p>Still, it seemed Ragnor was still willing to keep on trying, to keep to their plan. “Alexandra is willing to wager certain information for a pardon against her crimes.”</p><p>Imogen didn't bat an eye at Ragnor's offer. He'd told Alec that she wouldn’t. She'd want to hear what it was they had to say first before she tried to turn them down.</p><p>So far, Ragnor had been the one to speak. But this was the moment that Alec needed to finally speak up. If they wanted to have any chance of winning Imogen over and making any of this work, this was when it was going to happen.</p><p>“We know the location of the Cup.”</p><p>Imogen's whole body went on immediate alert. Her eyebrows shot up, her spine went straight, and Alec got to feel the full force of the woman's look for the first time. This wasn't the look of disdain that had sat in Imogen's eyes at the sight of her mark, nor the one of interest when she looked at Alec's runes. This was a sharp, dangerous look that made Alec feel like the woman wasn't just looking at her, but straight down to the marrow of her, sizing her up as she went. The urge to cross her arms over her chest was a strong one. Alec forced herself to remain as still as possible and not give anything away.</p><p>“You have the Cup?” Imogen asked her.</p><p>This was Alec's time to answer. Her time to speak up and be heard. And she was going to have to word all this very carefully to not only give the Cup back to the Institute where it belonged, but not get herself or anyone else in any sort of trouble. “I don't have it on me,” she said smoothly, mentally crossing all her fingers that this plan of theirs was going to work. She had to trust them – trust Magnus. “But I do know exactly where it is, and it's not in Valentine's hands.”</p><p>“And you can get it?”</p><p>“I can.”</p><p>“Why should I bargain with you for it?” The way Imogen tilted her head, how her eyes narrowed a little, left Alec fighting the urge to squirm. “I'm sure we could extract the information we need from you.”</p><p>Alec swallowed down the threat of bile in her throat. Strong. She had to be strong. “You could try. But I wouldn't recommend it.”</p><p>“You seek to play games with a very important piece of our history. Something that should be safely locked away where Valentine stands no chance of reaching it.”</p><p>“I'm well aware of that, Ma'am.” Drawing in a breath, Alec thought of what Ragnor had advised her to do, of what Magnus had said, and then she threw it all out the window. If she was going to go down, she was going to do it honestly, and damn the consequences of it. So long as no one else got hurt, what did it matter anymore? “I'm going to be honest with you, Madame Inquisitor. I could sit here and play word games with you all afternoon. Because you and I both know, right now I sit in the seat of power. I'm the one that knows the location of the Cup, and I'm the one that can give it back to you. It'd probably take a while, but we both know how this meeting between us has to end.”</p><p>At Alec’s side she could feel the way Ragnor had gone tense. His leg bumped hers under the table in a clear warning. Yet Alec ignored it. Her attention was focused fully on Imogen.</p><p>“So, what do you propose?” Imogen asked.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Alec looked at the path before her and committed herself to it with one single word. “Nothing.”</p><p>Alec's answer clearly surprised her. Just as clearly, it surprised Ragnor, who shot her a sharp look from the corner of his eye. Alec ignored it all as she sat up to her full height.</p><p>“I'm not going to try and make a deal, or some sort of proposition, or anything like that.” Alec’s voice grew a little stronger with each word she spoke. The wrong feeling from before was fading away. What she was doing now, this was the <em>right</em> choice, and that conviction rang in every inch of her voice. “I'm going to have my friends get you the Cup, because I firmly believe that it belongs in the hands of the Clave. Despite the last decade that I've spent in the Downworld, I spent the first ten years of my life here at this Institute. It was my home, and the people here my family. I trained at the Academy. I learned our laws, same as any other Shadowhunter child. More than that, my parents started my training early in the hopes that one day I'd take over as Head of this Institute. While we both know that's never going to happen, that doesn't take away who I am, or the loyalty I feel to the Angel.”</p><p>Lifting her arm, Alec drew up the sleeve of her sweater to show off the angelic power rune there. She waited until Imogen's eyes darted down there before she continued to speak, her voice just as steady and just as strong.</p><p>“I went through the same rune ceremony as any other Shadowhunter. I made my pledge to my people and to the Angel to serve and protect. My years away haven't changed that. I live by that oath, even if I do so in a way the rest of you might not approve of.” Fire flashed through Alec’s gaze, and her voice sharpened just a little. “I protect everyone – Shadowhunter, mundane, and Downworlder alike. The best way to protect them in this situation is to make sure that the Cup is back where it belongs. Where it can't hurt anyone. My question to you is – if I give it to you, can you keep it from being taken again? Can you prevent Valentine from staging another coup and stealing it once more?”</p><p>The whole room went quiet. At that point the others were merely spectators watching as the two women faced off against one another across the table. The two had taken control of the conversation and shut them out. What came next, good or bad, was going to be between them.</p><p>Eventually, Imogen nodded. “We can. We're more prepared for him this time.”</p><p>“Then when this meeting is over, that's what I'll do.”</p><p>“You are an interesting creature, Alexandra Lightwood. You look like a Downworlder and talk like a Shadowhunter.”</p><p>“That's who I am, Ma'am. I'm a Shadowhunter, born and bred, and I’m a Downworlder. I don't choose between those two roles. They're both mine, and they're both who I am.”</p><p>There wasn’t much left for either side to say after that. Imogen stared at Alec for a long moment, and then she nodded her head. “I have much to think about,” she said, pushing up to her feet. “As, I believe, do you. I’ll be back to speak with you again before the day is done, Ms. Lightwood.”</p><p>That was the first time that Imogen had afforded Alec that kind of courtesy while talking to her. Hearing it now had Alec giving a respectful nod.</p><p>The two at the table sat and watched silently as Imogen and her guards left the room.</p><p>They wouldn’t sit on this long, Alec knew. Not when there was the Cup on the table. Imogen would want to get it back in their control as quickly as possible. The fact that she hadn’t just made her decision right then and there was a bit surprising. Alec had told them she’d get them the cup as soon as the meeting was over, but to their knowledge, she had to be released to do that.</p><p>Not that that was the case. Alec was going to call Clary in as soon as she could, and then send them off to get the Cup out of hiding just like they’d planned. If she could just keep the young girl from figuring out that they weren’t trading the Cup for Alec’s freedom until it was too late. She’d already agreed to turn it in if it meant helping Alec. She wasn’t going to like doing it if it wasn’t getting them something in return.</p><p>Magnus came in almost the instant Imogen was gone. She took one look at them, no doubt taking in the blank look on Alec's face and whatever expression it was Ragnor was wearing as he watched her, and Alec could hear the tension in Magnus' voice when she demanded “What happened?”</p><p>“I'm not sure yet,” Ragnor said slowly. A peek sideways showed that he was still watching Alec. “That was either very, very smart, or very, very stupid. Which one remains to be seen.”</p><p>Alec refused to be cowed by that. “It was the right thing to do.”</p><p>“Let's hope she thinks so as well.”</p><hr/><p>Not even an hour later found Alec standing alone in her cell waiting on news of how everything was going. Neither Alec nor Ragnor had told the others what exactly happened during the meeting. All they’d told them was that it was time for them to do their part and give Imogen the cup. Ragnor hadn’t looked too happy about that, and Magnus was clearly suspicious, but Alec was firm. “We can’t go any further until she has it,” Alec told them.</p><p>And so they’d set off upstairs to do their part in things. Unfortunately, that meant that everyone had to leave. No one had been allowed to wait with her. They’d had to leave her there, even Isabelle, which meant that Alec was standing entirely alone when the elevator doors opened.</p><p>She expected it to be the Inquisitor, Isabelle, or Clary. Maybe even Jace. The very last person she expected to see come walking through those doors was Maryse. Alec took one look at her mother walking toward her and had to fight back the urge to vomit. This wasn't something that she'd wanted to have to do. Especially not while locked away in a cell.</p><p>It took a lot of control for Alec to casually move forward and take a seat in the chair she’d been in earlier. Much to the guard’s annoyance, and Ragnor’s clear amusement, he’d left the table and chairs in the room with her. Alec was grateful for that now.</p><p>She slid down into the seat, calm and casual as she could manage, and crossed one leg over the other. Her hands were crossed as well and settled over her thigh. Everything about Alec was a pose of control and nonchalance. Like hell if she was going to let Maryse see how affected she was. <em>Like hell.</em> No matter how much the sight of her made Alec’s heart ache.</p><p>Through long lashes, Alec watched as Maryse spoke to the guards, and then as she came walking up to the cell. She didn’t stop by the glass like Alec had expected her to. No, she came over to the door, and a moment later she was actually walking in the cell with her.</p><p>What was she going to do? Alec tensed, fully aware that she was alone down here with no real way to defend herself. Not only did the cuffs cut off her power, they were <em>exhausting</em> to wear in ways she hadn’t expected, and she knew her body’s response time was going to be slower.</p><p>For a moment the two just looked at one another across the expanse of the cell. Alec was the one to break the silence. Stone faced, she lifted her chin and let her body language shift into a clear dare, giving away no sign of weakness. “Hello, mother.”</p><p>Those words seemed to break whatever paralysis had fallen over Maryse. To Alec’s surprise, she almost looked like she’d been slapped.</p><p>Abruptly, Maryse was moving, striding right toward Alec. She came to a stop just a foot in front of Alec. Holding perfectly still, Alec watched and waited, not sure what reaction she was going to get. This was the first time she’d seen her mother since before she’d left. Looking at her up close like this, seeing the signs of age on her, it was so <em>hard</em>. Maryse had grown older while Alec was gone. There were signs for someone who knew how to look. Especially when the last image of her that Alec had in her mind was when she was only ten years old and her mother had seem so much larger-than-life.</p><p>Little lines showed around Maryse’s eyes. A few wrinkles that hadn’t been there before. She also seemed… smaller.</p><p>Alec remembered a big woman – large in that sense of power and strength. She remembered how her mother could tower over her and everyone else when she strode around in her heels. People moved out of her way without her having to say a word. She’d exuded command and control. Now? Now, she looked small in ways Alec hadn’t ever thought were possible for her.</p><p>A flash of pain went across Maryse’s face. Then she surprised Alec further by smoothly sinking down to her knees right there in front of Alec’s feet. The look on her face was the most open Alec could ever remember seeing her. Maryse’s lips were parted, her breath shaky, and her eyes were wide and lined with tears. Seeing it had Alec sucking in a stunned breath.</p><p>Maryse lifted one hand up toward Alec. It shook lightly when it got close to her face. Yet, she still brought it up, reaching for the side of Alec that the younger woman was fighting not to hide. When they connected, Alec couldn’t help her small flinch.</p><p>“Alexandra,” Maryse breathed her name out. There was a faint tremor in her voice that spoke of deep emotion. The kind Alec had been sure she’d never hear directed toward her from her mother. Not like this. “Oh, my sweet baby girl. It’s you. It’s really you.”</p><p>Alec’s hands ached from how tightly she was clenching them together. She couldn’t bring herself to let go, though. “Mama?”</p><p>The hand on Alec’s face pressed firmer, thumb stroking over her cheek. To Alec’s horror, a tear spilt down Maryse’s cheek, one after another. She didn’t even try to wipe them away. She just kept looking up at Alec. “I’ve missed you so much.”</p><p>This was – this wasn’t what Alec had tried to prepare herself for. She hadn’t expected this. Seeing such naked vulnerability in a woman who’d always been the epitome of strength in Alec’s mind shook her foundations. She swallowed back a lump that felt as hard as a rock. “Did you?”</p><p>“The fact that you doubt that only further cements how terrible a mother I was to you,” Maryse said bluntly. Though few realized it, especially with how well Maryse played the political game, Alec had gotten her bluntness from her mother. While Maryse might’ve learned how to keep her mouth shut most of the time, she often didn’t see the point. She said what she felt and damned the consequences – just the same way Alec often did.</p><p>There were so many things Alec wanted to say in that moment. She’d imagined a meeting between her and her mother countless times since she’d left home. More often than not, those meetings were part of her nightmares. Horrible dreams where Alec was faced with what she’d always feared – a family that hated her, disowned her, sentenced her to death just for being who she was.</p><p>None of it compared to the sight in front of her. Maryse kept her hand on Alec’s cheek and stroked at it as she said the words Alec had been sure she was never going to hear. “I’m so sorry, Alec.”</p><p>“<em>Mama</em>.” The word punched out of Alec, layered heavy with pain she’d been holding in her heart for years.</p><p>“I barely deserve that title,” Maryse said, scoffing a little at herself. She caught Alec’s eye and shook her head to cut off any protest that Alec might’ve made. “Don’t. Don’t make excuses for me, Alexandra. I’ve come to terms with what kind of mother I was to you. It was hard not to once you were gone and I was faced with all the ways I’d neglected my daughters. I made you be a mom long before you were done being a child yourself, and for that, I’m so sorry. Your leaving made me realize just how many ways I’d messed up with you two.”</p><p>Alec’s breath shuddered out of her. She wanted to keep up the cold façade; it was the only way she knew of to protect herself. But it was falling away underneath the earnest look her mother was giving her.</p><p>The hand on Alec’s cheek shifted, a knuckle stroking over where Alec knew there was black skin, and it made her jerk.</p><p>Maryse’s eyes darkened a little. Not with fear or anger, but with pain. “I’m so sorry you felt you couldn’t come to me with this.”</p><p>Alec hated it, hated seeing how hurt her mother was, but there was a part of her that couldn’t help but grow just a little hard at that. “I think we both know what you would've done if I had.” There was a clear sharpness there that Alec could tell cut at her mother as much as it cut at her.</p><p>“No matter what you think of me, Alexandra, I wouldn't have let anyone hurt you,” Maryse said.</p><p>“But you wouldn't have let me be me.”</p><p>To Maryse’s credit, the woman hesitated only a moment before she shook her head. “No.”</p><p>So many questions popped up in Alec’s mind. Countless things she’d told herself she would ask if she ever got the chance. Now, with Maryse still kneeling in front of her and seemingly in the mood to be honest, it was Alec’s chance to get those answers. Only, when she looked at her there was only one real question that she could think to ask. The most important one of all. “Did you know?”</p><p>Maryse’s answer was instantaneous. “No!” She didn’t have to ask what Alec meant, or even think about it. “I never even suspected. There was nothing that… it shouldn’t be possible.”</p><p>Well, that took away at least one possibility, then. One that Alec had hated to think about. The idea that her mother might’ve known the truth about her and kept it hidden had eaten at Alec over the years. Thinking that Maryse or Robert might’ve seen her like this when she was born and forced her to be hidden…</p><p>Alec was grateful that wasn’t true. It didn’t make anything better, really, but it helped.</p><p>With a careful breath to try and steady herself, and a curl of her hands in her lap, Alec used her chin to gesture toward the chair that Ragnor had sat in earlier. “Have a seat. Please.” This would go so much easier if Maryse wasn’t staying down on the floor. They had a lot to talk about, the two of them, and Alec couldn’t do it with her mother looking so vulnerable below her like that. It felt wrong in far too many ways.</p><p>Though Maryse clearly didn’t like the idea of letting go of Alec, she nodded her head and pushed up off the ground, smoothly sliding into the chair. She also tugged the chair forward so that their legs brushed together. Once she was settled, her own legs crossed and spine straight, she met Alec’s eyes head on and spoke yet again in that blunt way they’d always shared.</p><p>“I don’t know what happened to do this to you, but I have my suspicions. Ones that are likely going to make you hate me even more than you already do.”</p><p>“If you’re talking about your time in the Circle, I already know about that,” Alec said.</p><p>A surprised look crossed Maryse’s face.</p><p>“I spent the last ten years living with a warlock, a Shadowhunter-in-hiding, and a werewolf who used to be a Shadowhunter. All of whom seemed pretty convinced their wards and senses could keep a curious, nosy child from listening in on their conversations.” Alec huffed a little. If only they all knew just how many conversations she’d been able to listen in on growing up. “I learned about who you guys used to be within my first year there.”</p><p>Jocelyn hadn’t been happy when Alec grew older and her heritage became clear. She started to recognize more and more of Maryse in Alec’s looks, and they’d all fought about it in an argument Alec knew she wasn’t supposed to have heard.</p><p>The pained look on Maryse’s face grew. “Then you know what I’ve done. And what very well could have been done to me.”</p><p>Alec had to fight to swallow the lump that was trying to grow in her throat. “I have my suspicions.”</p><p>“I never willingly consented to any sort of experimentation. But… I wouldn’t put it past the man he turned into to give me something without my knowledge.”</p><p>Maryse looked so haunted in that moment. Once, Alec had been convinced that she would hate her mother if they were ever confronted with one another again. That she would rage and scream and curse her for being the cause of this. Only now, even as Alec was faced with one of her greatest fears being potentially true, she looked at her mother and found she couldn’t hate her. Not for this.</p><p>“I can’t pretend to understand why you were a part of that,” Alec said slowly, giving her mother the same honesty it seemed Maryse was so willing to give her right now. “But I’ve spent years with people who were once a part of what he’d done, too, and who saw better and got away. People who realize what they did was wrong. Have you?”</p><p>“Not right away,” Maryse admitted. “It took, time. And, though I’m ashamed to admit it, it also took losing you. The thought that you’d left, or that perhaps some enemy of mine had come to take you… When I had to face what kind of person I’d become, the mother I’d turned into, it forced me to look at all parts of my life. Watching your sister, trying to do right by her, helped me to see a lot of other things as well. As did Max, and Jace.”</p><p>So, it was only Alec who had memories of what their parents had used to be like. She had to close her eyes against the swell of emotions that made her feel. So many emotions that she couldn’t put a name to them all. What she latched on to was gratitude that things had been different for her siblings while they grew up. That they’d had it easier – better.</p><p>“What about Dad?” she couldn’t help but ask. So far, neither one had mentioned him, and that didn’t escape her notice.</p><p>Nor did the flinch Maryse gave as Alec opened her eyes again. “Your father is…complicated. He loves you, all of you, but he’s not the type of man to accept change easily.”</p><p>In other words, he was still the same man he’d always been. Alec absorbed that knowledge and nodded. It was no more than she’d expected from the both of them. Having Maryse here, so open and willing to talk, and so sorry for what she’d done – that was more than Alec had ever expected. “I guess that explains why he’s not here with you.”</p><p>“I’ve heard about why they have you in here,” Maryse said. Neither of them commented on the fact that she was glossing past Alec’s words, which was essentially a confirmation all on its own. “These charges, Alec…”</p><p>“We're handling it, Mama. Ragnor Fell is helping me.”</p><p>“I remember him. He's... he's a good person.” The <em>for a warlock</em> was easy to hear at the end of that. Clearly, Maryse still had her issues, but the fact that she was there, that she was talking like this, and the way she was looking at Alec without flinching showed just how much of an effort she was putting into it. That wasn't a small thing. Alec could appreciate that.</p><p>An awkward silence fell between them for a moment. They were both strong, prideful women, and so much had happened between them. It created a river between the two that neither one was sure how to cross. Alec wanted to, desperately, but she had no idea how to do it or if she even wanted to be the one to make that first step.</p><p>Luckily, she didn’t have to.</p><p>Maryse leaned a little on the table and drew herself in that much closer to Alec. Though small, her smile was there, and it was real. “I’ve missed so much about your life. Tell me about yourself.”</p><p>The request was honest; Alec could tell that much. Maryse truly wanted to know. There were so many different things Alec could tell her. But one in particular came to mind for a multitude of reasons.</p><p>So far Maryse had done amazingly well with everything. Far better than Alec could have ever thought to hope for. She'd never pictured them sitting together and talking like this. Especially not while her mark was on clear display. But there was still a small part of Alec that was anxious, waiting for the moment that the bad things were going to happen. That she'd say or do something that was just too much for her mother. It was that part of her that prompted Alec to lift her chin a little and proudly stay “I have a girlfriend.”</p><p>If she'd hoped to shock Maryse, she was proven wrong. A smile lit up the older woman's face that softened the lines there in ways Alec had never thought to see. “Yes, your sister informed me of that. Magnus Bane, I believe she said.”</p><p>Alec blinked at her a few times, trying to process just how smoothly her mother had taken that news. “Yeah.”</p><p>“Is it serious?”</p><p>There were so many layers to that question. Yet the answer was so easy – it was right there in the open for her, a simple “Yes” that rolled right off Alec's tongue without even having to think. More than that, though, Alec's heart prompted her to be honest. To say the words that she hadn’t had the courage to say to Magnus yet. “I love her.”</p><p>Reaching out, Maryse caught Alec’s hand in hers, and she smiled. “Then I'm so very happy for you, Alexandra. So very, very happy.”</p><p>For the first time since her mother had come in, Alec found herself smiling back.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay I couldn't wait so here's the final chapter. Now I can work on the next story - hopefully it won't take me too long to get it together! Thanks for reading this, and thank you for your reviews!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alec lost track of time as she sat down there with her mother. They had a decade worth of memories to catch up on and Maryse seemed intent on finding out as much about them as possible. Alec was just as curious to hear stories about her siblings. About Isabelle, and the antics she’d gotten into growing up. And Max – little Max, who’d only been a year and a half when Alec left home.</p><p>Thinking of him made Alec’s chest ache a little. He wouldn’t remember her. Not the way that Isabelle had. He’d have no idea who she was beyond whatever stories the others told him. It’d be like Alec and Jace meeting – neither really knew the other.</p><p>“You know, I worried for the longest time that Isabelle and Jace were going to become parabatai,” Maryse told her.</p><p>Alec blinked a few times in surprise at that. “I didn’t think Izzy wanted a parabatai.”</p><p>“She doesn’t, not really. Which eased my mind a little – picturing the trouble those two would cause together, each feeding into the other, gave me nightmares.” A grin curved Maryse’s lips. “I don’t know if you’ve realized, but your sister is a bit… reckless. She’s fiercely independent, and absolutely brilliant. She’ll make a fine Institute Head one day.”</p><p><em>Ah</em>. Alec had wondered a few times if they’d try and train Isabelle to take her place. She’d never mentioned it, but Alec wasn’t surprised by that. Isabelle was kind. She wouldn’t want to rub in Alec’s face that she was taking the position that had once been promised to Alec.</p><p>Shifting her hands, Alec absently rubbed at her wrist where the cuff was chafing just a bit, and her magic was prickling at her skin in a demand to be free.</p><p>The gesture drew Maryse’s eye. She looked down at the cuffs with a look of distaste mixed in with concern. “Do they hurt?”</p><p>“Not really.” At the dry look Maryse gave her, a clear <em>don’t lie to me</em>, Alec shrugged. “They don’t. It’s not pain so much as… I don’t know how to describe it. They cut me off from reaching out to a part of me. It’s like being able to feel my arms and legs but not be able to move them.”</p><p>“I’m sorry. I wish I could take them off of you.”</p><p>Any further conversation was cut off by the sudden blaring of alarms. Maryse shot up to her feet, Alec seconds behind her, and the two looked around them to try and figure out what exactly was going on. The hallway was lit with red flashing lights that Alec knew meant trouble. It felt wrong, so wrong, to just stand there while Maryse strode out of the cell.</p><p>Gone was the kind, soft woman that she’d been showing only moments before. This wasn’t a mother who walked out of there – it was an Institute Head, ready to lead her people.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Maryse demanded loudly.</p><p>Whatever came next, Alec had no idea. She could see Maryse and the guards speaking, see the way the two snapped to attention before they went into the elevator. As the doors closed, Maryse spun around and marched right back toward the cell.</p><p>Alec barely let her get in the door before she demanded “What’s going on?”</p><p>“There’s been an attack on the Institute. Reports of a couple Forsaken along with a few Circle members,” Maryse said. She walked right up to Alec, reaching into her pocket as she did and pulling out her stele. To Alec’s shock, Maryse grabbed hold of her cuffs and pulled them up, drawing the unlock rune on both of them. As soon as they released, she was tossing them off to the side.</p><p>The surge of magic almost sent Alec stumbling into the table. She had to reach out and catch hold of the chair just to keep from falling. Instinctively, her glamour slid into place, the one piece of magic she was used to keeping up at all times. But her focus wasn’t on that. She held on to where she was and looked up at Maryse. “Mom?”</p><p>“I’m not leaving my daughter down here as a sitting duck in these cells,” Maryse snapped. She gestured at Alec to follow her and proceeded to march out of the room, fully confident her orders would be followed. <em>This</em> was the Maryse that Alec remembered. “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you’re arrested, Clarissa and Isabelle suddenly have the Cup to give to Imogen, and now we’re being attacked by Circle members and Forsaken.”</p><p>The implications of that made Alec’s stomach twist. She followed after Maryse, the two heading straight for the elevator. “You think there’s a spy.”</p><p>Once they were in, Maryse hit the button to take them up. “I think the timing is a little too convenient, and I refuse to let them put the blame on you.”</p><p>They would, Alec knew. Especially once they saw her up there with them. It wouldn’t matter how well she fought on their side – though she could see why Maryse had done this, the politics behind bringing Alec up and letting her fight on their side. They were still going to find some story to tell that would make this her fault. Because while Alec might be a Shadowhunter, she’s also a Downworlder, and there was no doubt in Alec's mind that they were going to make this her fault before they’d admit any of it might be theirs.</p><p>None of that mattered at the moment, though. Her family was upstairs and they needed her help. Alec could no more stay downstairs than she could cut off her own hands.</p><p>A little bit of magic changed the outfit Magnus had given her earlier into the moveable leather pants, shirt, and jacket combo she normally wore while patrolling at night. It also called up her bow and arrow as well as a seraph blade at her waist. With just a small pause, she summoned another blade, smiling faintly when it worked. Good to know the armory hadn’t moved.</p><p>Alec held that blade out to her mother. It was longer than most, more a sword than a blade, and just the style that she knew Maryse preferred.</p><p>It warmed her a little bit inside when Maryse took it without hesitation. “Thank you.”</p><p>The doors opened and there was no more time for any of that. What they found waiting for them was enough to have Alec’s eyes going wide in horror. Hearing that there were Forsaken and Circle members here was nothing like seeing the truth of it.</p><p>The Institute looked <em>overrun</em>. Broken machinery was everywhere, and groups were fighting all around. Alec could clearly see Clary and Isabelle fighting side by side in the training room against a Forsaken that didn’t seem to want to go down. Magnus was with them, her magic flying to take out any Circle members trying to come up on the two girls. Why they weren’t doing it the other way around, Alec had no idea.</p><p>Somewhere off to the right was another blast of magic – Ragnor’s, she was guessing. That was the direction that Maryse went in, blade lit and held ready in her hand.</p><p>Another group was fighting in front of Alec, and more were off to the left. It was to the left that she could see another Forsaken with a crowd of Shadowhunters clearly marked with the Circle rune. Though there were other Shadowhunters fighting, only one seemed to be getting close enough to try and distract the Forsaken.</p><p>Jace.</p><p>While Alec wanted to fight with the rest of her family, they were all being taken care of in their own ways. Jace was the only member without magical protection. She couldn’t just leave him there to handle it on his own. Not when he was a part of her family, too. Even if he was a part she didn’t know too well.</p><p>Clearing through the fights in front of her was easy. A small blast of magic, a shield to protect herself, and Alec was free to dart around them and head straight for Jace. She gathered a ball of magic as she went, and when the crowd broke just enough, she flung it at the Forsaken.</p><p>The blow hit, but it wasn’t enough to take the Forsaken down. Thankfully, it at least sent it flying back into the wall, and that gave Alec enough time to cut down the Circle member in front of her and leap forward.</p><p>Alec used a counter to jump up on and leap around the last group. It let her land on her feet just inches away from Jace, already twisting her body as she went to put them back to back.</p><p>He didn’t startle at her arrival. The man adapted quickly and moved his own stance so that they were suited well together, neither at the risk of tripping the other. When Alec snuck a look back at him, he was grinning. “Nice of you to join the party.”</p><p>A startled laugh burst from Alec’s throat. “Sorry. I was a little held up.”</p><p>"Excuses, excuses."</p><p>Up close like this, there was no way Alec was going to be able to use her bow, not yet, so she settled for having her blade in one hand and magic in the other, glaring at the Circle members that were trying to pin them in. “Quit bitching. I’m sure there’ll be plenty enough for both of us.”</p><p>The Forsaken let out a roar, and Alec snuck a look toward it, watching as it finally shoved off the wall and made its way towards them again.</p><p>Jace groaned. “Raziel-dammit, doesn’t that thing know how to die?”</p><p>“You take the Circle members, I’ll go for the big one,” Alec said. She didn’t waste time waiting around for Jace to agree. Alec twisted toward it and flung out another blast of magic to try and knock it back once more, while Jace responded by smoothly turning with her to guard her back.</p><p>The fact that she trusted him to do it was a surprising revelation. One to look at later, when she wasn’t fighting for her life.</p><p>“Sure, I see how it is,” Jace said, lunging forward to stab someone who got too close and then dancing back, always keeping their backs to one another. “You just wanna come up here and play hero. Swoop in, take down the big baddie, get all the glory.”</p><p>A snort slipped out before Alec could stop it. She shoved her blade forward, trying to hit the hand that was reaching for her, and had to duck under the swing of the other one. “Yeah, that’s it,” she said, grunting when a blow caught her shoulder. <em>Fuck</em>. “You’ve pegged me. I’m all for the glory.”</p><p>Alec drew on her magic to push against her runes from the inside. She didn’t have time to grab a stele. Adrenaline filled her as rune after rune was activated. Then all of Alec’s focus was on the monster in front of her.</p><p>Later, she would admit that she and Jace worked together like a well-oiled machine. When Alec almost got caught by the Forsaken, Jace was there, twisting around her to swipe in with his blade. In response, Alec immediately sent out a concussive blast of pure battle magic at the Circle members trying to creep up on them.</p><p>When she turned back, Jace had the Forsaken on the ground with a sword through its head, and he was grinning proudly.</p><p>“Just couldn’t share the glory, huh?” Alec taunted. The hint of a smile on her lips offset her tone.</p><p>Jace went to say something, only to have Alec draw her bow and shoot an arrow right past his head into the Circle member who’d been coming up behind him. When Jace turned to look, she let her smile turn into a grin.</p><p>It made the grin Jace wore when he turned back toward her, though there was a slightly dazed look in his eyes. “Nice shot.”</p><p>She nocked a few more arrows and grinned. “You’re welcome.”</p><p>With the Forsaken down, that just left Circle members to take out, and they didn’t stand a chance against them. Alec shut off everything else that wasn’t the warrior and threw herself into the battle. With sword, arrows, and magic, she fought to take down these people who’d come in here to attack what should be a sacred place for the nephilim.</p><p>Alec lost track of how many she killed, how many she and Jace took down. They stayed together and slowly began to make their way toward the rest of the family. She was there to guard him when someone got in a lucky blow that sent him to the ground, and a few minutes later he was there for her when a blade cut through her jacket and right into her side.</p><p>For as quickly as they were thrust into this, it all ended just as quickly. One minute Alec was fighting hard, and then next, there were no enemies left. She and Jace were standing by one another, blades in hand as they looked around, taking in the massive amounts of bodies on the floor as well as who was left standing. Most of these people probably meant something to Jace – he would recognize who was here and who wasn’t.</p><p>Alec only had eyes for her family.</p><p>She found Maryse standing by Isabelle, already drawing an iratze on her shoulder to heal a wound there. Clary was standing at her side, holding on to Isabelle’s free arm and watching her with so much worry and such starry eyes, it was definitely something Alec was going to tease her about later.</p><p>Ragnor and Magnus were near them, and Magnus caught Alec’s eye across the room as if she’d just been waiting for Alec to look her way. She was already pushing away, getting ready to head over toward Alec, when some of the remaining Shadowhunters got in the way. People who were on their side, people without Circle runes, stood with their weapons in hand and surrounded Alec and Jace – no, just <em>Alec</em>. They were surrounding Alec and watching her with distrust and no small amount of loathing.</p><p>Alec slowly, carefully, lowered her weapons. Her bow was back over her shoulder, and her sword was deactivated and put at her hip. She would’ve held her hands up in a peaceful gesture if that wouldn’t have come off as a threat to them. Dot had warned her of that early on. “If you ever get caught by Shadowhunters, never <em>ever</em> raise your hands. They take that as a threat and will react accordingly.”</p><p>Fear was an emotion Alec was familiar with. It twisted through her stomach and flooded her veins with the need to run far, far away from here.</p><p>Movement beside her reminded Alec that she wasn’t alone, though.</p><p>Jace held one arm out in front of Alec in a clearly defensive pose. “Lower your weapons,” he snapped at them. “She just got done saving all your asses!”</p><p>“She shouldn’t even be up here,” a voice called out. The crowd parted to make way for Lydia, who strolled up toward them with a dangerous look on her face, one that promised trouble. “I don’t know how you got out of there, but you’re not going to escape. Whatever plan you had here, it’s not going to work.”</p><p>“You think she had some sort of plan?” Jace asked. He made a scoffing sound that was full of disgust. “She just fought to <em>help</em> us!”</p><p>“Only when she saw it was likely she was going to lose,” Lydia shot back. “How else do you explain how she got out of her shackles?”</p><p>Another voice spoke up above them all. “I let her out,” Maryse called out. The crowd parted to let her through. It didn’t matter that Lydia was the Acting Head of this Institute. In that moment, Alec could see that quite a few still looked to Maryse as their Institute Head.</p><p>Maryse walked up to the two of them without any hesitation. She came up and then turned to face the crowd, her body between Alec and Jace while still being in front of them, putting herself between them and any sort of threat.</p><p>“You don’t have the authority to do that,” Lydia said, meeting Maryse’s stare without flinching. <em>Brave woman</em>.</p><p>“Nor did you have the authority to go and arrest my daughter based off of suspicions you had through a half-heard conversation,” Maryse fired back. “Especially when your information proved inaccurate. I gave Alexandra permission long ago to portal to the Institute as she saw fit – seeing as how it’s her home as well.”</p><p>Alec had to fight to school her expression so her shock wouldn’t show through. Even after all the nice words downstairs, this was just, it was nothing like she'd expected. Words spoken in private were one thing. Acknowledging Alec here where everyone could see and hear it? Claiming her not only as her daughter, but lying to protect her, too?</p><p>All Alec could do was watch as her mother faced off against a Clave envoy who would happily put Maryse under the sword to find out whether she was lying or not. Maryse did it with her spine straight and her chin up, standing tall and refusing to back down.</p><p>Their stalemate was broken by the only Shadowhunter in the room to have more power than any of them. Imogen Herondale didn’t bother coming toward them. She stood on the stair below the training room, just a little above everyone else, and spoke in the kind of clear voice that was meant to carry to all edges of the room.</p><p>“Alexandra Lightwood is no longer in the Clave’s custody. By my word, and the word of your Institute Head, I find her not guilty of the crimes ascribed to her.” Her sharp eyes sought out Alec’s. “I need to return to Idris, but I’ll be back in one week’s time, and you and I will meet to discuss your future role with this Institute and with the Shadowhunters.”</p><p>That was clearly not a request. Alec knew well enough to hold her tongue and bow her head, giving only a “Yes, Madame Inquisitor” as an answer.</p><p>“Maryse Lightwood, the Institute is yours,” Imogen said. Then she stepped down and began barking out orders, calling for cleanup and gathering her guard as well as Lydia.</p><p>When they reached the hallway, Ragnor offered them a portal, and Imogen didn’t hesitate to take it.</p><p>It wasn’t until the portal was gone that anyone moved again. Of course, it was Isabelle who broke that silence, letting out a loud cheer as she shot across the room and almost tackled Alec, with Clary right on her heels. “You’re free!” Isabelle said, squeezing her tight.</p><p>“Oh my God, Alec, I’m so glad that worked,” Clary breathed out against her. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”</p><p>Alec took a moment to hug them both and reassure herself that <em>they</em> were okay. That they’d all made it out of this alive. Not just her, but her family, her friends.</p><p>Over Clary’s shoulder, she caught sight of Magnus standing there watching her. The look on her face carried such <em>pride</em> it left Alec tongue-tied. Magnus was so clearly happy for Alec, for what she'd done and what she'd accomplished, but for some reason she was also staying back there by Ragnor. Not coming forward like it was so clear she wanted to do. Alec had no idea why.</p><p>Well, if Magnus wasn't going to come to her, she was going to go to Magnus.</p><p>Letting go of Clary and Isabelle wasn’t easy. Part of Alec still wanted to hold on to them and make sure they’d made it out of this all right. She wanted to find any injuries and heal them. But something about the way Magnus was watching her, that hesitance, told Alec that this was an important moment. She had a slight feeling she knew why, too, which was what prompted her to murmur “Give me a minute” at the two girls and step away from them.</p><p>People moved out of the way when Alec started to walk forward. Not just her sisters, but the other Shadowhunters. All of them were watching as Alec walked past them without a care and went right up to the most important person in here. At least to her.</p><p>Surprise lit Magnus' eyes when Alec came to a stop right in front of her. Yet none of that stopped her from lifting her arms and accepting Alec in when the younger woman leaned toward her. She never denied Alec any sort of touch.</p><p>The hug felt good – wonderful. But it didn’t quite send the message Alec wanted to send. Tilting her head, she set about fixing that quickly enough.</p><p>Alec swore she could taste Magnus surprise when their lips pressed together. Yet it took only a second for Magnus to melt into it the same way she always did. They brushed their lips together, chasing after one another when they pulled apart to breathe, taking what Alec had originally meant to be a small kiss and extending it into something that was so much more. In it, she felt the care and affection that Magnus felt for her, the worry and relief. Their kiss became less about making a point and more about their relief at being able to do so once again.</p><p>When the two broke apart it was to find that everyone was watching them. Alec flushed a little, not quite used to the attention. That didn't mean she regretted it, though. A fact that she let Magnus know when she grinned at her. "You just about ready to get out of here?"</p><p>"You don't want to stick around for a little while?" Magnus asked her in surprise. She looked over Alec’s shoulder, toward her siblings.</p><p>When Alec turned to do the same, she found her family watching her with smiles on their faces. Maryse looked a bit aching, sadder than the others, but no less happy. Isabelle was grinning and making shooing motions at them while Clary gave her a big thumbs-up.</p><p>Turning back, Alec smiled at her girlfriend. "I want to go home, Magnus."</p><p>The way that Magnus' eyes softened was a look that Alec was always going to love. It wasn't one that she let just anyone see. Nor did it come out easily. It was one that seemed to be reserved for Alec and Alec alone. "I'd like that."</p><p>“Don’t worry about me,” a voice said off to the side, reminding them that they weren’t alone. Ragnor was standing there looking both bored and disgusted. It was a combination Alec was just a little bit impressed by. “I’ll just go home now that no one has any further use for me.”</p><p>Magnus turned to flash him a blindingly bright grin. “You know you’re always welcome to come with us, my little cabbage.”</p><p>“No, that’s quite all right.” Ragnor looked even more disgusted than he had before. “I don’t need to be in the middle of your <em>celebration</em>.”</p><p>Though his words had Alec flushing, she didn’t move away from Magnus. But she did offer him a small smile. “At least come join us for breakfast tomorrow so I can thank you properly.”</p><p>There was a soft gentling to his eyes when he nodded at them. Then Ragnor was making his own portal out of there, and Magnus was making one for her and Alec.</p><p>Alec took one last look at her family, waving at them. She had to remind herself that they weren’t going anywhere. They would still be here tomorrow. And from the looks of it, she might be, too. This time she wasn’t running away from them. She’d be back.</p><p>When she turned back to Magnus, her hands were sure and her steps steady.</p><p>Together, they walked through the portal.</p>
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